Josh -
Josh got a NEW job! He is now working at Auto Value in Rockford and really likes it.
He was working at Dan Pfeiffer Auto and was really dreading going into work everyday so he decided to try and find something new. He didn't feel respected among other things - he especially hated the long drive. He said the other day he put $25 in his gas tank to get to AV and made it a whole week without getting gas again. He had interviewed at VanAndel & Flikkema (sp?) and Auto Value. Auto Value hired him and then the same week VanAndel wanted to hire him as well but he had already accepted at Auto Value. So proud of him. He's doing a great job.
Lately we've had this joke going around where he says "How's that for your handyman?"
One day when we were talking about remodeling at his parents house I had said that guys are different. Some are mechanics, some are tv guys, some are handymen, some are sports guys, etc and I had said that maybe he wouldn't want to work in the basement because he's not really a handyman...or something to that effect. Well I didn't actually mean that he is NOT a handyman I just meant that he doesn't do construction type stuff - he's more of a tv / sports guy. So now everytime he does a "handyman" type "thing" or if he fixes something - he'll say "How's that for your handyman!" LOL
He's getting better hahahahahahahaha LOVE YA INFINITY babe.
Abby - 2nd Grade
Feeling like a horrible Mom lately. I'll explain in a minute. Abby is doing much better at school. Here's why I'm feeling like a horrible Mom... I'm still trying to come up with a schedule of some sort for after school where the girls can both do school work / read but --- ok DUH moment...
Ever since we've been reading more with Abby she's doing better in reading. IMAGINE that??!!
So I just feel awful that we didn't read more often before and maybe she'd be farther along by now. I don't feel like all of her learning "issues" are our fault - but hello she's not going to know anything if we don't teach her or help her. I've never been much of a reader my self and I'm horrible and math but I do not want her to end up the same way. Right now it's been free time after school until 4pm, then homework, then reading. We are a tv watching family which sometimes I wish would change but it's Josh's release after work/dinner. The girls also take a bath at night so I should read after their bath. If you have any schedule ideas - I would greatly appreciate them. She LOVES her teacher (so do we). She still is an amazing big sister and second Mom. Love her infinity.
Jasmine - 1st Grade
She is doing wonderful on her homework. She always wants to get it done on Friday right when she gets it after she gets home from school. She is so quick and just "gets it". I'm anxious to hear how they both are doing at conferences coming up in November. She is my cleaning mini me. I think since she was born she's had a little of my OCD which I've never professionally been diagnosed with. I'm just sure I've got it in some ways. We call her Miss. Detail and she's always been a fan of patterns. The funny thing is though is that her room is not clean most of the time BUT if she cleans it - she cleans well. I can remember ever since she was little she'd put things in a pattern or in a straight line. If something belongs to someone it's got to be in it's correct place -but yet her room is a mess. Weird! LOL. I'd have to explain my OCD in a whole blog post hehe. She's going to be our "tough" one I think. You should hear some of the things she says. Miss Detail Stinker. She also has her very sweet side though, every morning she remembers to give me our infinity sign before school. I want to / need to try to spend more one on one quality time with both Abby and Jasmine. Love her infinity.
Josie - 6 months (will be 7 on Oct 26th)
How is she almost 7 months already? Crazy. We started giving her some baby food. She's had bananas, oatmeal with breast milk, green beans, squash, apple/strawberry/bananas. She does better eating those foods when Grammy feeds her while I'm away. Otherwise when I feed her at home it's a little after she's breastfed so she's not as hungry. Grammy uses it as a substitute while I'm away. She's been going longer between feedings now so I've been cleaning at homes that are farther away. She still seems to wake up every 3 hours at night. Some days I'm more tired than others but I love nursing so since she won't be doing that her whole life I'm enjoying it for now. I'm sure I'd get several comments on this but she's still sleeping in her co-sleeper. We've tried her crib a couple times and she stays in their well but then I've just put her back into her co-sleeper. Occasionally she'll sleep next to me in bed as well. But most of the time she sleeps in her co-sleeper. My opinion is that if she's sleeping (not in our bed) then why does it matter where. Obviously we'll have to move her permanently because she won't fit in the co-sleeper soon but I'm thinking we'll start once we're in our new home. She's sitting up well and so close to crawling. She still smiles all the time and the women in our family are her favorite. She also has this new cheesy / teethy grin that is adorable. She's my punky punk at the moment. I've been calling her Punker. I used to call her baby cakes. Funny how nicknames start. Not sure why Punker. LOL Hoping to nurse until she's 1 so I don't have to buy formula. Love her infinity.
Me - I'm going to be the big 3-0 on 11-11.
How am I going to be 30 already? Crazy. LOL I'd really love to go to Freighters restaurant for my birthday. It's a new restaurant. Maybe a ship would not sail by though because it will be November. Anyway google it if you haven't heard of it. I always hate when I want to update about me. I'm a horrible writer and always feel so negative about myself. I've got so much on my mind lately that I never feel like I can really adequately explain it all. I guess I'll just post random facts.
1. I wish I would have grown up going to church more often. I read blogs and the posts are all about reading the bible or bible verses or how God is working in their lives and bible stories etc and I feel like I don't know anything. I feel like I don't pray enough, I don't know enough, I don't read the bible enough, the list goes on. I recently started a prayer journal to get in the habit of praying more but even that I haven't updated in a while.
2. I still think way too much about past places I've worked / people I've worked with. Drives me nuts. I just want to forget the past and move on with it all.
3. I'm still struggling with loosing weight and that is also driving me nuts. I keep telling myself I need to loose weight and then I eat and eat and eat and eat and then feel guilty. It's a vicious cycle. I hate it.
4. I love cleaning for people. You'd think my house would be spotless - NOPE. Drives me nuts.
5. I think I'm going crazy ;) (drives me nuts)
I guess those are the main things on my mind. I'm anxious to be settled into our new home so I don't feel so stressed.
Cleaning -- I got 2 new jobs this week... super excited. One is a business.
This is my cleaning schedule
JR - every other Tuesday
MC - every other Tuesday
JE - every Thursday
SL - every Thursday / flexible
SC - every other week (day flexible)
I'm blessed with amazing people to clean for and I love it. I'm also still subbing when I can.
I'm also cleaning with a friend at the 2 new places and she's great. I'm so glad she was willing to help.
I'm thinking if I found maybe 1 more home I'd be full.
This is long - but it's all I can think of at the moment even though I know I'm forgetting everything. My mind races when I'm trying to type these.
Much LOVE to all who read.
I now have my blog public again - so if you do read this please LIKE my facebook post so I know or COMMENT. OK ?? =)
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
House is NOT for Sale
I snuck away to my bedroom to try and post a new blog - and little Momma's girl was not having it.
Took a nursing break and now here's my update.
House Update - If you did not read my previous posts we are moving to Bailey.
Jill and Jerry (Josh's parents) are remodeling their walkout basement and will be moving downstairs.
We will be moving upstairs. Each family will have their own separate house. We will not be sharing anything except the yard and driveway. Plus we will be splitting all the payments so it will save all of us money.
Josh and I both were working full time when we bought our house and since I am no longer working full time we have come to the realization that we are unable to pay our mortgage. We've tried to work with our mortgage company several times and have never been given any options. When we were 2 months behind they finally said they would work on a "loan modification". Which means they would take our income and try to lower our mortgage payment. Why couldn't they have tried to do that before? Even though they are still working on the terms for the loan modification we still want to move. We'll save more money in the long run, plus we're looking forward to the land that we're gaining. The girls will be able to go outside without worry of vehicles along the road /etc. The land is only 1 of the many pluses.
We actually had our house up for sale at one point but we had to take it off the market because
1. We can not sell it for what we owe on it and we do not want to have to pay the extra.
2. Our mortgage company will not approve a "short sale" - A short sale is where we could sell our home for less than what we owe and then the bank would pay the difference.
At this point our only option is to let it go into foreclosure. It's not my favorite option and I understand what it does to our credit - but since our new home will be our forever home anyway - in a blunt way...we really don't care. Of course if it affects us getting a vehicle or something we'll deal with that when the time comes. I just know that if we continue to live here even if they modify the payment - I think we'd still loose the house anyway because the last time we got an update from our mortgage company they said our payment would probably not go down much from what it is right now.
The downstairs just needs paint, flooring, counter tops, and the appliances / fireplace hooked up and then Jill and Jerry can move in. They are hoping that will all be complete by Halloween.
Downstairs is 1 bedroom with huge walk in closet, 1 bathroom, kitchen, living room (with dining room), utility room, and storage area. Even though it's only 1 bedroom and 1 bathroom etc - it's very large rooms. Example - their bedroom is approximately 325 sq. ft.
Upstairs is 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, 2 living rooms, a sun room, kitchen, laundry room, dining room.
Once we're able to move in we'll be repainting most rooms, installing laminate flooring in the "girls living room", and installing new toilets. Hoping to be complete by December at least. Anxious to move.
I think I'll post a second blog post with family updates. I don't want this one to be huge.
If you can pray that all will continue to go smoothly with the remodel and pray that all the moving going on will go smoothly as well that would be wonderful.
Also we've been blessed with amazing family and friends that have helped us and Jill and Jerry through this whole process. There are not enough words to express our Thanks.
Took a nursing break and now here's my update.
House Update - If you did not read my previous posts we are moving to Bailey.
Jill and Jerry (Josh's parents) are remodeling their walkout basement and will be moving downstairs.
We will be moving upstairs. Each family will have their own separate house. We will not be sharing anything except the yard and driveway. Plus we will be splitting all the payments so it will save all of us money.
Josh and I both were working full time when we bought our house and since I am no longer working full time we have come to the realization that we are unable to pay our mortgage. We've tried to work with our mortgage company several times and have never been given any options. When we were 2 months behind they finally said they would work on a "loan modification". Which means they would take our income and try to lower our mortgage payment. Why couldn't they have tried to do that before? Even though they are still working on the terms for the loan modification we still want to move. We'll save more money in the long run, plus we're looking forward to the land that we're gaining. The girls will be able to go outside without worry of vehicles along the road /etc. The land is only 1 of the many pluses.
We actually had our house up for sale at one point but we had to take it off the market because
1. We can not sell it for what we owe on it and we do not want to have to pay the extra.
2. Our mortgage company will not approve a "short sale" - A short sale is where we could sell our home for less than what we owe and then the bank would pay the difference.
At this point our only option is to let it go into foreclosure. It's not my favorite option and I understand what it does to our credit - but since our new home will be our forever home anyway - in a blunt way...we really don't care. Of course if it affects us getting a vehicle or something we'll deal with that when the time comes. I just know that if we continue to live here even if they modify the payment - I think we'd still loose the house anyway because the last time we got an update from our mortgage company they said our payment would probably not go down much from what it is right now.
The downstairs just needs paint, flooring, counter tops, and the appliances / fireplace hooked up and then Jill and Jerry can move in. They are hoping that will all be complete by Halloween.
Downstairs is 1 bedroom with huge walk in closet, 1 bathroom, kitchen, living room (with dining room), utility room, and storage area. Even though it's only 1 bedroom and 1 bathroom etc - it's very large rooms. Example - their bedroom is approximately 325 sq. ft.
Upstairs is 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, 2 living rooms, a sun room, kitchen, laundry room, dining room.
Once we're able to move in we'll be repainting most rooms, installing laminate flooring in the "girls living room", and installing new toilets. Hoping to be complete by December at least. Anxious to move.
I think I'll post a second blog post with family updates. I don't want this one to be huge.
If you can pray that all will continue to go smoothly with the remodel and pray that all the moving going on will go smoothly as well that would be wonderful.
Also we've been blessed with amazing family and friends that have helped us and Jill and Jerry through this whole process. There are not enough words to express our Thanks.
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
House Situation - "Lord, I need You"
I haven't updated after Josie's 4 month appointment. Most people keep up with my facebook so I normally post most updates there. Her appointment went well. She had 4 shots and weighed 16lbs. I didn't get her height because the computers were not working. She can almost sit all by herself already and is rolling all over the place. She still continues to smile TONS! She is for sure more aware of her surroundings and who she is with. We tried the nursery on Sunday at Church and she didn't make it long before she realized she wasn't with Momma! Hoping that won't happen every time.
Abby and Jasmine had their first day of school today. Abby is in 2nd grade and has Mrs. Snyder and Jasmine is in 1st grade and has Mrs. Shick (Abby has Mrs. Shick for 1st grade too). So happy they have those teachers. Love them! They both had a great day. Abby came home with a headache though so hoping that doesn't happen often. Jasmine said there were boys in her class that were naughty but she was not naughty. Abby said she read a book today - she said it was Level D. Not really sure what the different levels mean. So thankful Kent City is such a wonderful school. I'm also so happy that I get to bring the girls to school and pick them up everyday. I missed that so much when I worked full time. SOOOOOOO glad I do not work full time. Financially of course we'd be different BUT my girlies mean the world to me and I'd rather have them than money.
Speaking of Money - Just spilling it all out their. What good is a blog if you can't just say what's on your mind?
We are horrible with money. I'm not good with Math / numbers / whatever. We always spend too much on eating out but then we also don't buy groceries.
We of course don't have as much income as we use to have so that has been the main reason why we haven't been paying bills well. We still haven't paid our mortgage since June.
Today I was pretty emotional because every time I talk to our mortgage company they are so rude and make you feel like crap. Of course all of this is my fault BUT it's just frustrating to me.
Some of you I'm sure have read my previous blogs. I guess if you don't understand something...ask...because I always feel like I need to start from the beginning and I just don't want to do that every time ;)
Our mortgage company is currently in the process of seeing if we qualify for a loan modification that would lower our monthly payment. They have to see if we qualify for that before the could consider doing a short sale. When I called them today the lady we deal with said that they have approved us for a loan modification but she doesn't know the details of it yet.
I told her that we are not going to be approving the loan modification because we just want to sell the house. They will not let us sell the house on a short sale because we were approved for a loan modification. GRRR So we'd either have to send a hardship letter stating why we feel we could not afford the new payment or go into foreclosure. I have a feeling if we submitted a hardship letter they wouldn't approve it anyway. It's frustrating because a family of 5 with basically just Josh's income - then you take out cars, insurance, gas , electric, gas for vehicles, food - doesn't leave us much for a mortgage payment so I don't see how they would approve us for a modification.
Anyway some of your may be thinking - if they approved you for a lower payment so you can keep your house but make a different payment then why don't you want to stay at your house.
Some days I think - WHAT IF we stayed here?!?! But I know we would not be saving as much money as we would be if we moved. Plus we really want to move because our new home will probably be our forever home (not a temp fix) plus we have land and a pool is a added plus. Plus us moving helps us and helps Josh's parents.
Although foreclosure is a bad word and bad for our credit - we're probably just going to have to go that route. There is also no way we'd get approved for a loan to cover the difference of what we'd get on the house vs. what we owe.
I of course don't like jumping up and down yelling WHOO HOO foreclosure. I just don't see any other way it's going to work. Plus I think even if we did stay here - we wouldn't be any better off.
Am I making sense? I don't know. Just so confusing / hard / frustrating
So many questions.
HE knows!! Please pray that everything will smooth out / that we'll be on the same page as our mortgage company / the whole moving process will go ok.
I feel like I'm missing a bunch or forgetting something or not explaining well enough.
I've talked to some people on the phone too so that helped. <3
"Lord, I Need You"
Abby and Jasmine had their first day of school today. Abby is in 2nd grade and has Mrs. Snyder and Jasmine is in 1st grade and has Mrs. Shick (Abby has Mrs. Shick for 1st grade too). So happy they have those teachers. Love them! They both had a great day. Abby came home with a headache though so hoping that doesn't happen often. Jasmine said there were boys in her class that were naughty but she was not naughty. Abby said she read a book today - she said it was Level D. Not really sure what the different levels mean. So thankful Kent City is such a wonderful school. I'm also so happy that I get to bring the girls to school and pick them up everyday. I missed that so much when I worked full time. SOOOOOOO glad I do not work full time. Financially of course we'd be different BUT my girlies mean the world to me and I'd rather have them than money.
Speaking of Money - Just spilling it all out their. What good is a blog if you can't just say what's on your mind?
We are horrible with money. I'm not good with Math / numbers / whatever. We always spend too much on eating out but then we also don't buy groceries.
We of course don't have as much income as we use to have so that has been the main reason why we haven't been paying bills well. We still haven't paid our mortgage since June.
Today I was pretty emotional because every time I talk to our mortgage company they are so rude and make you feel like crap. Of course all of this is my fault BUT it's just frustrating to me.
Some of you I'm sure have read my previous blogs. I guess if you don't understand something...ask...because I always feel like I need to start from the beginning and I just don't want to do that every time ;)
Our mortgage company is currently in the process of seeing if we qualify for a loan modification that would lower our monthly payment. They have to see if we qualify for that before the could consider doing a short sale. When I called them today the lady we deal with said that they have approved us for a loan modification but she doesn't know the details of it yet.
I told her that we are not going to be approving the loan modification because we just want to sell the house. They will not let us sell the house on a short sale because we were approved for a loan modification. GRRR So we'd either have to send a hardship letter stating why we feel we could not afford the new payment or go into foreclosure. I have a feeling if we submitted a hardship letter they wouldn't approve it anyway. It's frustrating because a family of 5 with basically just Josh's income - then you take out cars, insurance, gas , electric, gas for vehicles, food - doesn't leave us much for a mortgage payment so I don't see how they would approve us for a modification.
Anyway some of your may be thinking - if they approved you for a lower payment so you can keep your house but make a different payment then why don't you want to stay at your house.
Some days I think - WHAT IF we stayed here?!?! But I know we would not be saving as much money as we would be if we moved. Plus we really want to move because our new home will probably be our forever home (not a temp fix) plus we have land and a pool is a added plus. Plus us moving helps us and helps Josh's parents.
Although foreclosure is a bad word and bad for our credit - we're probably just going to have to go that route. There is also no way we'd get approved for a loan to cover the difference of what we'd get on the house vs. what we owe.
I of course don't like jumping up and down yelling WHOO HOO foreclosure. I just don't see any other way it's going to work. Plus I think even if we did stay here - we wouldn't be any better off.
Am I making sense? I don't know. Just so confusing / hard / frustrating
So many questions.
HE knows!! Please pray that everything will smooth out / that we'll be on the same page as our mortgage company / the whole moving process will go ok.
I feel like I'm missing a bunch or forgetting something or not explaining well enough.
I've talked to some people on the phone too so that helped. <3
"Lord, I Need You"
Lord, I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You're the One that guides my heart
Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
Where sin runs deep Your grace is more
Where grace is found is where You are
And where You are, Lord, I am free
Holiness is Christ in me
Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
Teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus, You're my hope and stay
Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
You're my one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You're the One that guides my heart
Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
Where sin runs deep Your grace is more
Where grace is found is where You are
And where You are, Lord, I am free
Holiness is Christ in me
Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
Teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus, You're my hope and stay
Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
You're my one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
Sunday, August 11, 2013
More of the Story...
My last blog post I had mentioned that we were trying to decide whether or not we should move.
We have decided to MOVE!
I wanted to share some of the details and "more of the story!"
We're not sure exactly when we will actually be moving but we've already started the whole process anyway.
Jill and Jerry are going to remodel their basement and we will be living on the main floor.
We will have separate entrances. They will have the downstairs, we will have the upstairs.
The only thing we will be sharing is the driveway.
Let me repeat that - The only thing we will be sharing is the driveway. The reason I wanted to repeat that is because quite a few people think that we're living together. We're not. Yes it's the same house but they are downstairs we are upstairs. Almost like a duplex / apartment.
They are going to remodel the basement to be like a "mother and father suite" with one bedroom, a great room, kitchen, utility room, bathroom, and a storage room.
The upstairs is 3 bedrooms 2 baths, one living room for Josh and I and one living room for the girls, a dining room, kitchen, and sun room.
We'll be using the sun room as a "school room" with the girls desks.
The reason we have decided to move is because we have been behind on our mortgage and don't feel that we'd be able to keep the house even if the bank were to lower the payment. Right now the bank is in the process of seeing if our payment could be lowered so we'll be able to see what they offer BUT right now our mortgage payment is $740. When we move we'll be paying $350ish so we doubt they will drop our payment that low. On top of only paying that much for the new house payment we will be paying half of the rest of the required bills. Half of the electric, Half of the propane, Half of the TV bill, etc. So not only will we save money on a house payment we'll be saving money for the rest of the bills as well. This will help us and help Jill and Jerry as well. They can pay less, we can pay less. They'll have the smaller living space that they want, we'll have a bigger living space for our needs.
Another plus is that Jill and Jerry can keep their land and pool and we can have more land and a pool.
We felt the pros far outweighed any cons. It will be nice to not feel so stressed about how we're going to pay the mortgage every month.
Now the biggest obstacle is trying to figure out how to sell our house. Can we just sell it for what we owe (78,000) or will we have to put it on a short sale. We will be speaking with a realtor tomorrow (Monday) so we're hoping to get that process started asap. We're hoping whatever happens it sells quickly - or at least sells as soon as Jill and Jerry are moved into the basement.
Jill and Jerry have already started cleaning out the basement and once it's all cleared out construction can start. We've been blessed with lots of helpers and we're so thankful for family who have made this whole thing possible. There are not enough words to describe how thankful & blessed we are.
There was lots of - what if's, should we's, what about, do you think it's a good idea, are we making the right choice, but after all the ups and downs / stressing / etc. I really feel this will be the best for our future. I've always wanted approval from my loved ones but some of them would like it if we could keep our house - we just really feel it's best that we move.
Jill has fibromyalgia and her body hurts everyday so for a long time she has wanted a smaller living space but she did not want to loose her yard and pool. The dogs still needed a place to run. Plus family members are neighbors so it's great to keep the house in the family. Plus since we'll be right upstairs if she were to ever need any help we're right there. I can help clean (I'm good at that you know) ;)
They save money, we save money.
We're hoping the process goes smoothly for everyone.
We're excited to get things moved in and we're excited to make their home our home.
They are also excited to get the basement finished.
Please pray for us that all will goes smoothly with MOVING and SELLING.
Much LOVE to all! <3
We have decided to MOVE!
I wanted to share some of the details and "more of the story!"
We're not sure exactly when we will actually be moving but we've already started the whole process anyway.
Jill and Jerry are going to remodel their basement and we will be living on the main floor.
We will have separate entrances. They will have the downstairs, we will have the upstairs.
The only thing we will be sharing is the driveway.
Let me repeat that - The only thing we will be sharing is the driveway. The reason I wanted to repeat that is because quite a few people think that we're living together. We're not. Yes it's the same house but they are downstairs we are upstairs. Almost like a duplex / apartment.
They are going to remodel the basement to be like a "mother and father suite" with one bedroom, a great room, kitchen, utility room, bathroom, and a storage room.
The upstairs is 3 bedrooms 2 baths, one living room for Josh and I and one living room for the girls, a dining room, kitchen, and sun room.
We'll be using the sun room as a "school room" with the girls desks.
The reason we have decided to move is because we have been behind on our mortgage and don't feel that we'd be able to keep the house even if the bank were to lower the payment. Right now the bank is in the process of seeing if our payment could be lowered so we'll be able to see what they offer BUT right now our mortgage payment is $740. When we move we'll be paying $350ish so we doubt they will drop our payment that low. On top of only paying that much for the new house payment we will be paying half of the rest of the required bills. Half of the electric, Half of the propane, Half of the TV bill, etc. So not only will we save money on a house payment we'll be saving money for the rest of the bills as well. This will help us and help Jill and Jerry as well. They can pay less, we can pay less. They'll have the smaller living space that they want, we'll have a bigger living space for our needs.
Another plus is that Jill and Jerry can keep their land and pool and we can have more land and a pool.
We felt the pros far outweighed any cons. It will be nice to not feel so stressed about how we're going to pay the mortgage every month.
Now the biggest obstacle is trying to figure out how to sell our house. Can we just sell it for what we owe (78,000) or will we have to put it on a short sale. We will be speaking with a realtor tomorrow (Monday) so we're hoping to get that process started asap. We're hoping whatever happens it sells quickly - or at least sells as soon as Jill and Jerry are moved into the basement.
Jill and Jerry have already started cleaning out the basement and once it's all cleared out construction can start. We've been blessed with lots of helpers and we're so thankful for family who have made this whole thing possible. There are not enough words to describe how thankful & blessed we are.
There was lots of - what if's, should we's, what about, do you think it's a good idea, are we making the right choice, but after all the ups and downs / stressing / etc. I really feel this will be the best for our future. I've always wanted approval from my loved ones but some of them would like it if we could keep our house - we just really feel it's best that we move.
Jill has fibromyalgia and her body hurts everyday so for a long time she has wanted a smaller living space but she did not want to loose her yard and pool. The dogs still needed a place to run. Plus family members are neighbors so it's great to keep the house in the family. Plus since we'll be right upstairs if she were to ever need any help we're right there. I can help clean (I'm good at that you know) ;)
They save money, we save money.
We're hoping the process goes smoothly for everyone.
We're excited to get things moved in and we're excited to make their home our home.
They are also excited to get the basement finished.
Please pray for us that all will goes smoothly with MOVING and SELLING.
Much LOVE to all! <3
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
MOVING?
When Josh and I bought our house in 2008 we were both working full time jobs. So we purchased this home based on the income we had at that time.
Josh is still working full time but right now I am only cleaning homes (very part time). I am hoping to find more homes to clean but we feel it's best that I do not work full time right now - especially with a nursing baby. Josie will not take a bottle so it is impossible for me to find a job where I would be gone for more than 3 hours at a time. When I'm cleaning I can work around that.
Some times people say - well you need to do what you need to do to provide for your family so if you need to work full time to pay bills then you need to work full time --- BUT I refuse to work full time and be away from my girls. I would much rather sacrifice some things so that I can be with them as much as possible.
The only bills we have right now (except phone & TV) are bills that we HAVE to pay (mortgage, cars, insurance, etc). We don't have any credit cards. We do have medical bills that are also not being paid.
SO to just be blunt - we're behind on our mortgage and haven't made a payment since June.
I hate saying that or even admitting that. I'm sure there are many ways we could be "better" with our spending/ etc ...BUT this is where we're at.
SO we have submitted some paperwork to our bank in hopes that maybe our mortgage payment would be less based on our current income but we're not sure what is going to happen with that.
If they do not lower our mortgage payment there may be other options we could look into BUT right now we're tossing around the idea of selling our house.
If we sold our house the only way we'd be able to save money is if we moved in with family.
The idea that we have is ...
Josh's parents (Jill & Jerry) could redo their basement and make it into one bedroom apartment / bathroom / living area / kitchen and then the 5 of us would live upstairs. (3 bedroom, 2 bath, kitchen, living area) Their house it much bigger than our house plus their yard is more than 3 acres and they have a pool. We would have separate entrances and we wouldn't be sharing anything except the driveway and the yard. Jill and Jerry have no problem with this. Josh and I don't really have a "problem" with it - it's just when we're already on our own ... thinking about having to move back in makes you feel a little "sad". (Even though we wouldn't be living together).
If this happened we'd be saving about $4200 a year (we'd be saving more than that but that is what we'd be saving just for the house payment).
So do we move or do we just wait to see what happens after the bank processes our paperwork?
It's been a stressful and tough decision.
We love our location and we love our house so it's hard to think about.
On the other hand if we were going to loose our house anyway then moving to their house would be our only option. So should we just do it anyway? Would it be better to save the money in the long run even if our mortgage is lowered? It would be better to be proactive before our house was in foreclosure / etc.
(not that I'm asking you these questions - just questions that come up in my mind)
Just not sure what to do? No matter what happens I know God has a plan and will take care of us I'm just hoping the answer is more clear soon so we feel better about it.
Sometimes I think -- God will provide so that means if we stay in our house he'll make it possible and we won't loose our house...right now I just don't see us coming up with a bunch more money to get caught up and keep up.
So many thoughts and questions and what if's and unknowns.
Please pray that an answer would come easily for us to make this a better situation for all involved.
One day we'll look back and know that whatever happened worked out - it's just stressful thinking about the whole process. Selling & Moving.
Like I said on Facebook today - I wish I could just be a kid again but still have my husband and my girlies.
God is Great so I trust him as always.
(and side note - again this stress is nothing compared to what others are going through)
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Random Thoughts
Whenever I feel like typing a blog it seems like my thoughts all seem to rush to mind all at once and I can't come up with how to get them all out the way I was hoping they would. So like I've said before this might be all over the place but hope it makes sense.
There are still days when I feel a little depressed. I hate when I feel depressed especially when there are people who are going through much worse then we are. I shouldn't be depressed. I have a wonderful family, a house, a car, food, a job, three beautiful healthy girlies, and MUCH more. I have everything I need. Sometimes I feel so guilty because I'm not working full time to provide more income for our family. Some days I feel guilty because I don't do anything with the girls except make them clean. Some days I'm a horrible wife. Some days I spend too much time on the internet. Most days I don't pray enough. I know God will provide for our every need. It's like those two people on your shoulders...the good one and the bad one talking to each other. Sometimes the good one wins and sometimes the bad one wins. Sounds so silly but sometimes my mind drives me nuts. Of course if I gave all my thoughts to God I'm sure the bad one would be quiet a lot more!
I also feel like God puts people in your way to teach you things. Some of my friends post things and I'm so jealous and wish I was like them. I wish I could think the way they think, do the things they do, teach my girls like they teach their kids, etc.
I just want to be the best Wife, Mom, Sister, Aunt, Daughter, Granddaughter, Niece, Friend, Christian, Home Cleaner, there is. I want to be a great example for my girlies and teach them a bout Jesus.
Summer is almost over and it seems like I have not done anything fun with the girlies. Plus Josh is at work all day so he wouldn't be able to enjoy the fun things we may end up doing. I'm still so thankful that he works so hard for us so that I can work part time.
Josh -- Josh has been super busy at work moving things to a different area at his work. He comes home pretty tired. He got some Berlin Raceway tickets for this Saturday. Some of the Duck Dynasty cast will be there. He is bringing his Dad. I would have loved to go but it would have been too difficult with a nursing baby. Also - he got another call to have a formal interview at a place much closer to home...he's not sure when the interview will be yet but if you think about it be praying that if it's where God wants him that the answer will be easy for us to decide if they would want to hire him. It's always a little scary changing companies when you're not sure how it will all turn out. Again - If God leads us to it - he'll get us through it BUT..!!
Abby -- Abby finishes her reading program next week. There have been several nights that we should have been doing a lot more reading. She has gotten better though. She is such a huge help with Josie. She's like her 2nd Mommy and again like I said before - I seriously feel like I could leave Josie home with her and she could babysit even though she's only 7. I'm thankful for her help when I'm doing things around the house or taking showers. Lately she loves to ride her scooter around the house, watch netflix movies, and still loves music a lot.
Jasmine -- Jasmine will someday be my cleaning assistant or go on her own cleaning jobs. She is so detailed so whenever she is in the mood to clean she does so good. Today she help me fold laundry, she did all the dishes, washed walls, helped me clean out her bedroom closet, she straightened up the kitchen counter, and put laundry away. She also vacuums occasionally as well. It's funny though because when she is in the mood she does a great job at putting things where they belong - but there are days when the house looks like a tornado went through especially in their bedroom and it doesn't bother her. Since she's always pretty particular on who things belong to or where things belong its funny that she can be pretty messy. She is also a huge help with Josie but Josie is a little bit too heavy for her to carry so she just plays with her if she is on the floor / etc. She is so particular about the clothes she wears as well. She has a favorite pair of TIGHT black leggings that have stains that she does not want me to get rid of. She likes clothes to be tight. If they are too big she won't wear them. Unfortunately though I had to really discuss something with her today... The other day I bought the girls both the same outfit at the dollar store. Well today I went through the laundry and the pants were a smaller size than what I thought I bought. Jasmine had switched the 7/8 pants with the 6X pants so that they'd be smaller because she likes smaller. It is way too late to return the pants but I don't know if I need to tell the store? I told her that was very wrong and that is sin, etc. She understood and knew she did wrong. I wish I would have noticed it right away.
Josie - Josie is 4 months old now. Her next appointment is not until Aug 12th so I won't have a weight / height update until then. On July 20th she rolled over for the first time while we were up north. She rolled over so many times and then now that we've been home she probably hasn't even rolled over 10 times. If Josh has seen her roll over it's been 1 time. LOL. She is grabbing at things and has her own language sometimes. She eats about every 3 hours now. She is teething big time. She also has been biting when I nurse her but she isn't doing it to hurt me. She was sleeping for about 5-7 hours and she slept 7 last night but there have been nights where she gets up every 3. She always goes to bed around 9pm usually without a fuss. She is a very smiley, happy baby.
Me -- Josh wants me to find one more home to clean to add a little more income. I'm hoping to find a home that is closer to home. If you know of someone send them my way =)
The families that I clean for now are wonderful. I'm so grateful to have met them. I'm thankful God has put these people in my life. I hope to be able to clean for them for a long time.
One of my fb "friends" changed a setting on their facebook and put me under restricted but still kept me as a friend.
"When you add someone to your Restricted list, they'll only be able to see your Public content or posts that you tag them in. So if you put your boss on your Restricted list, post a photo and choose Friends as the audience, your boss (and anyone else on Restricted) won’t see that photo. However, if you add a tag of your boss to the photo, we’ll let them know they’re in it and they’ll be able to see the photo. If someone else tries to tag your boss in one of your photos, you’ll get to approve this tag from your pending posts."
As if to say - well you can't see my stuff but I'll keep you as a friend that way I can still see your stuff. While I'd love to just delete the person I decided to just put them on restricted as well. =(
Makes me sad in a way. I've known the person for more than 10 years. I don't understand. I care what others think about me and when they do things like this - it just makes me wonder why. Hurts my feelings a little.
Another thing that kinda hurts my feelings.... (changing a few names etc because I don't want to share the persons name)
I had asked someone if they were mad at me because I had not heard from them in a while...
"I'm not mad at you... the honest truth is its Facebook .... Every time we post pics or updates you like it... which is good and bad... my girlfriend my family and her family and friends think thats a bit weird and overkill. Which is silly, yet a bit warranted... 20 notifications in a day is a bit overboard. And between you and your sister... I hardly get anyone elses status updates. There is no wrong or right, I have tried explaining our friendship yet even then it still seems a bit much. So all I'm asking is stop liking every single thing we post. .....And don't get all upset. Just chill on Facebook a smidge alright? No one is mad. We just think maybe you are addicted to f.b. and need a hobby... lol Miss ya."
If I like something on facebook - I like it. Sometimes I'll be off facebook for a few days and when I get back on I'll like several things in the same day (so maybe the person got 20 notifications that day). I know sometimes I've often thought - man I only get likes from a these people -- but HELLO isn't that what Likes are for? to show you like something? Ugh
and I do know I spend a lot of time on facebook but I don't feel I'm addicted to it.
I know I often think too much about people that probably don't spend a second thinking about me.
I don't know why I care so much about what other people think of me or if they like me or if they are mad at me. But I want people to like me etc.
I shared a picture on facebook the other day ---
and it's like that song -
He knows my name, he knows my every thought, he sees each tear that falls, and He hears me when I call.
God Loves Me, Josh Loves Me, my girlies love me. Why do I feel like if certain people don't seem to like me then I'm not good enough?
This is getting pretty long and again didn't really come out quite like I had thought it would. I've got 2 girlies that want me to tuck them in and one already sleeping. Josh is sleeping too because he isn't feeling well so I'll sign off for now.
Thanks for reading =)
Friday, July 19, 2013
Everybody has those days
There is a song I love by Jessa Anderson called Everybody has those days.
Everybody DOES have "those" days! Last Saturday when I couldn't sleep I posted a blog and it was quite negative and here I'm wanting to write a blog that's positive because I'm having a very good day.
So last Saturday was just one of "those" days. Thankful for good and bad days - the bad days make me learn a little I'll admit.
Sometimes when I look back I see exactly why I things happen the way they did. I might think there is a problem at the time but God knows what he's doing. His timing and plan is perfect. I'm so thankful for where I am "right now".
I've decided to start Weight Watchers next week and my mother in law Jill is going to do it as well. Josh might even do it too. I sometimes regret paying for MWL but we did and I just have to get over that. I was hoping we were going to feel more encouragement from them but that wasn't the case. I did WW before so I know I can do it. I'll miss going to the meetings but right now it's easier to afford just doing it online. There is a WW app I can use for my phone so that should help as well. I've always got my phone.
Right now I'm cleaning for one person in Bailey every week, one family every other Tuesday, and one family every week. Then starting in August I'll be cleaning for a family every other Friday. I'm so blessed to be cleaning for such wonderful, caring, and sweet people. It's great being able to create my own schedule so that I can be with the girls. It's perfect of a nursing baby who doesn't take a bottle as well. I can clean for 3 hours and come home and feed her. If I were working somewhere I definitely would not have the flexible schedule plus I don't have to worry about a boss. =)
The people I clean for have said "Love you too Amanda" or "You're the best" or "You are appreciated very much by my family" LOVE LOVE LOVE what I do.
God is Great!
To be continued.....
Part 2 ... Had to take a nursing break ;)
So today has been a great day. While I was driving to clean I drove past The Knights of Columbus Hall where we had our Wedding Reception. I knew it was in Conklin but I didn't remember what road it was on. I drove a different way to the house so when I saw it I got a HUGE smile on my face. That was a great day and I'm glad we had our reception there.
It's great when little things like that bring back great memories. I love when that happens.
I also wanted to say that I am super thankful for my mother in law Jill. I don't take the time to mention enough how blessed I am to have her as my mother in law. I know for a fact no one has a mother in law like mine. She is the best Grammy my girlies could have. My girlies have the best Grandparents in the world.
She watches them anytime we need someone and while I clean. I've also been eating lunch there after cleaning. I could go on and on and really never be able to express how much she means to us. I'm not always the best at expressing my feelings in person so if I can type it and she can read it - maybe that'll help. I know she reads my blogs. ;) I can talk to her about anything and she has given me the best advice sometimes. She tells me what I need to hear and at the right moments. I've become a better person with her help. I've become a better Christian with her help. Very blessed to have her in our lives. She has fibromyalgia and hurts everyday but she still tries her hardest to make sure her family is happy. Can't imagine life without her and I'm praying she's with us for many many many many more years.
I'm really going to try my hardest to not worry about what I think people think of me, or what they may be thinking. I know there are lots of people who love me and if they don't then I don't need to worry about them. There are some people I'd love to talk to more often but if they don't ever contact me then I guess they are just not meant to be a part of my life.
Most people know I'm a big worrier and think too much so there will still be those days that I think negatively but I know God has a great plan for our lives and he will provide for our every need.
Heard this song today - PERFECT!!
Lift my life up - by Unspoken
You brought me this far
So why would I question you now
You have provided
So why would I start to doubt
I've never been stranded
Abandoned or left here to fight alone
So I'm giving you control
I lift my life, lift my life up
I give it all in surrender
I lift my heart, lift my heart up
You can have it forever
All my dreams, all my plans
Lord I leave it in your hands
I lift my life, lift my life up
Have your way in me
Have your way in me
If peace is a river
Then let it sweep over me
I'm under fire
I know it's refining me
When I hear you calling out
I follow now wherever the road may go
I know you're leading me home
I lift my life, lift my life up
I give it all in surrender
I lift my heart, lift my heart up
You can have it forever
All my dreams, all my plans
Lord I leave it in your hands
I lift my life, lift my life up
Have your way in me
Have your way in me
Take my life and let it be all for you
Take my life and let it be all for you
I lift my life, lift my life up
I give it all in surrender
I lift my heart, lift my heart up
You can have it forever
I lift my life, lift my life up
I give it all in surrender
I lift my heart, lift my heart up
You can have it forever
All my dreams, all my plans
Lord I leave it in your hands
I lift my life, lift my life up
Have your way with me
Have your way with me
Take my life and let it be all for you
Everybody DOES have "those" days! Last Saturday when I couldn't sleep I posted a blog and it was quite negative and here I'm wanting to write a blog that's positive because I'm having a very good day.
So last Saturday was just one of "those" days. Thankful for good and bad days - the bad days make me learn a little I'll admit.
Sometimes when I look back I see exactly why I things happen the way they did. I might think there is a problem at the time but God knows what he's doing. His timing and plan is perfect. I'm so thankful for where I am "right now".
I've decided to start Weight Watchers next week and my mother in law Jill is going to do it as well. Josh might even do it too. I sometimes regret paying for MWL but we did and I just have to get over that. I was hoping we were going to feel more encouragement from them but that wasn't the case. I did WW before so I know I can do it. I'll miss going to the meetings but right now it's easier to afford just doing it online. There is a WW app I can use for my phone so that should help as well. I've always got my phone.
Right now I'm cleaning for one person in Bailey every week, one family every other Tuesday, and one family every week. Then starting in August I'll be cleaning for a family every other Friday. I'm so blessed to be cleaning for such wonderful, caring, and sweet people. It's great being able to create my own schedule so that I can be with the girls. It's perfect of a nursing baby who doesn't take a bottle as well. I can clean for 3 hours and come home and feed her. If I were working somewhere I definitely would not have the flexible schedule plus I don't have to worry about a boss. =)
The people I clean for have said "Love you too Amanda" or "You're the best" or "You are appreciated very much by my family" LOVE LOVE LOVE what I do.
God is Great!
To be continued.....
Part 2 ... Had to take a nursing break ;)
So today has been a great day. While I was driving to clean I drove past The Knights of Columbus Hall where we had our Wedding Reception. I knew it was in Conklin but I didn't remember what road it was on. I drove a different way to the house so when I saw it I got a HUGE smile on my face. That was a great day and I'm glad we had our reception there.
It's great when little things like that bring back great memories. I love when that happens.
I also wanted to say that I am super thankful for my mother in law Jill. I don't take the time to mention enough how blessed I am to have her as my mother in law. I know for a fact no one has a mother in law like mine. She is the best Grammy my girlies could have. My girlies have the best Grandparents in the world.
She watches them anytime we need someone and while I clean. I've also been eating lunch there after cleaning. I could go on and on and really never be able to express how much she means to us. I'm not always the best at expressing my feelings in person so if I can type it and she can read it - maybe that'll help. I know she reads my blogs. ;) I can talk to her about anything and she has given me the best advice sometimes. She tells me what I need to hear and at the right moments. I've become a better person with her help. I've become a better Christian with her help. Very blessed to have her in our lives. She has fibromyalgia and hurts everyday but she still tries her hardest to make sure her family is happy. Can't imagine life without her and I'm praying she's with us for many many many many more years.
I'm really going to try my hardest to not worry about what I think people think of me, or what they may be thinking. I know there are lots of people who love me and if they don't then I don't need to worry about them. There are some people I'd love to talk to more often but if they don't ever contact me then I guess they are just not meant to be a part of my life.
Most people know I'm a big worrier and think too much so there will still be those days that I think negatively but I know God has a great plan for our lives and he will provide for our every need.
Heard this song today - PERFECT!!
Lift my life up - by Unspoken
You brought me this far
So why would I question you now
You have provided
So why would I start to doubt
I've never been stranded
Abandoned or left here to fight alone
So I'm giving you control
I lift my life, lift my life up
I give it all in surrender
I lift my heart, lift my heart up
You can have it forever
All my dreams, all my plans
Lord I leave it in your hands
I lift my life, lift my life up
Have your way in me
Have your way in me
If peace is a river
Then let it sweep over me
I'm under fire
I know it's refining me
When I hear you calling out
I follow now wherever the road may go
I know you're leading me home
I lift my life, lift my life up
I give it all in surrender
I lift my heart, lift my heart up
You can have it forever
All my dreams, all my plans
Lord I leave it in your hands
I lift my life, lift my life up
Have your way in me
Have your way in me
Take my life and let it be all for you
Take my life and let it be all for you
I lift my life, lift my life up
I give it all in surrender
I lift my heart, lift my heart up
You can have it forever
I lift my life, lift my life up
I give it all in surrender
I lift my heart, lift my heart up
You can have it forever
All my dreams, all my plans
Lord I leave it in your hands
I lift my life, lift my life up
Have your way with me
Have your way with me
Take my life and let it be all for you
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Thinking Problem
So here I sit in my bed like most nights - Josh and my girlies are sound asleep and I'm wide awake because my brain won't shut off. It drives me nuts but it seems like no matter how much I try to just shut it off - nothing works! I wanted to type out a blog because sometimes that helps me clear my head just a touch.
I just want to be real.
I've been told many times to pray - I know I've fallen asleep praying before but then I feel like I'm not praying right or that I shouldn't fall asleep while praying. Silly right?! I know that's how crazy my mind is sometimes.
Tonight after eating too much pizza I was complaining to Josh for umpteenth time that I hate my weight. Of course he always says I'm beautiful and sexy and wishes I wouldn't care so much. I love that he loves me the way that I am but truth is - I HATE my body - absolutely HATE it. I need to eat more healthy. Then I think instead of making stupid excuses or hating it - DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT then!! Easier said than done! Sometimes we joke around with my Mom and say - God must just want us to be fat. No I don't think I'll ever be skinny, nor do I want to be "skinny". I just don't like being this heavy. I bought a pair of pants at a garage sale and they wouldn't even zip or button. Then I said - oh it's because it's a different brand...which it could be made differently but seriously? Um! No.
One time doing WW I lost 68lbs then MWL I lost 30 to get back to the lowest when I had lost the 68. Now I've still got 30+ to get back to my lowest and I haven't been doing anything to get there. Plus my lowest isn't even a healthy weight either. I've been eating whatever I want and not exercising. Although I do clean homes at least 3 times a week for 3 hours each time. Which most of the time includes mopping on my hands and knees. So technically I'm not just sitting on my butt everyday BUT still.
All of these random thoughts cross my mind daily...
I hate my weight, I hate my body!
Hopefully I will be able to breastfeed for a long time, hopefully my milk won't dry up!
I don't pray enough!
I don't go to church enough or read my bible enough!
Am I depressed?
Do I need help?
Is he / she mad at me?
Why did this or that happen?
Do they like the way I cleaned ?
Am I a bad Mom?
Am I a bad Wife?
Wish I could express my feelings better!
Wish I could do what they do / be like they are!
What do people think about me?
What If I should be doing something different?
Am I doing what I should be doing?
Will I ever see certain people again?
Do other people think about me as much as I think about them?
Why this / why that? (ONLY GOD KNOWS)
WHY do these things have to always run through my mind when I'm trying to sleep? Is it because everything is quiet?
I've also tried to take more breaks from Facebook because it does really create more drama in my head than I need. I'm always over thinking everything I read. Also tonight after seeing a video about a girl getting in an accident from texting while driving.... I would love to just throw my phone away. I think I'm going to also make a new rule that if I'm driving my phone is going to sit in the back of the van so I don't touch it. I'm guilty of checking my phone while driving. I have way too much precious cargo in my van when I'm driving.
I also (kinda) wish my blog was public again just so (maybe) more people would read it.
This blog sounds so negative and it makes me sad. I don't want to feel sad / depressed / and keep thinking all these negative thoughts. I am so blessed and have everything I want / need so I don't know why I'm like this.
It's just like a never ending cycle.
BUT
God loves me
Josh loves me
Abby loves me
Jasmine loves me
Josie loves me
and a few others ;)
That's all that should matter.
PLUS If I wasn't so negative and thought more positively I'm sure my attitude would change and I'd be a lot happier.
and it's not that I'm NOT happy - just wish this side of me wasn't 'part of me'.
Then I wouldn't be ME right?! I don't know.
I am extremely happy that I have a wonderful loving family and I love cleaning for people. Most of all I love being more of a full time MOM!
I don't want to go back to what I was doing!! So much of my past is always on my mind and I just want to think about the present and the future and forget all that!
<3 Much love to my readers <3
Plus then I think get over it Amanda - there are some people out there who go through a lot worse than you do and yet here you sit complaining about pitty little things. Hate that about me too.
I just want to be real.
I've been told many times to pray - I know I've fallen asleep praying before but then I feel like I'm not praying right or that I shouldn't fall asleep while praying. Silly right?! I know that's how crazy my mind is sometimes.
Tonight after eating too much pizza I was complaining to Josh for umpteenth time that I hate my weight. Of course he always says I'm beautiful and sexy and wishes I wouldn't care so much. I love that he loves me the way that I am but truth is - I HATE my body - absolutely HATE it. I need to eat more healthy. Then I think instead of making stupid excuses or hating it - DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT then!! Easier said than done! Sometimes we joke around with my Mom and say - God must just want us to be fat. No I don't think I'll ever be skinny, nor do I want to be "skinny". I just don't like being this heavy. I bought a pair of pants at a garage sale and they wouldn't even zip or button. Then I said - oh it's because it's a different brand...which it could be made differently but seriously? Um! No.
One time doing WW I lost 68lbs then MWL I lost 30 to get back to the lowest when I had lost the 68. Now I've still got 30+ to get back to my lowest and I haven't been doing anything to get there. Plus my lowest isn't even a healthy weight either. I've been eating whatever I want and not exercising. Although I do clean homes at least 3 times a week for 3 hours each time. Which most of the time includes mopping on my hands and knees. So technically I'm not just sitting on my butt everyday BUT still.
All of these random thoughts cross my mind daily...
I hate my weight, I hate my body!
Hopefully I will be able to breastfeed for a long time, hopefully my milk won't dry up!
I don't pray enough!
I don't go to church enough or read my bible enough!
Am I depressed?
Do I need help?
Is he / she mad at me?
Why did this or that happen?
Do they like the way I cleaned ?
Am I a bad Mom?
Am I a bad Wife?
Wish I could express my feelings better!
Wish I could do what they do / be like they are!
What do people think about me?
What If I should be doing something different?
Am I doing what I should be doing?
Will I ever see certain people again?
Do other people think about me as much as I think about them?
Why this / why that? (ONLY GOD KNOWS)
WHY do these things have to always run through my mind when I'm trying to sleep? Is it because everything is quiet?
I've also tried to take more breaks from Facebook because it does really create more drama in my head than I need. I'm always over thinking everything I read. Also tonight after seeing a video about a girl getting in an accident from texting while driving.... I would love to just throw my phone away. I think I'm going to also make a new rule that if I'm driving my phone is going to sit in the back of the van so I don't touch it. I'm guilty of checking my phone while driving. I have way too much precious cargo in my van when I'm driving.
I also (kinda) wish my blog was public again just so (maybe) more people would read it.
This blog sounds so negative and it makes me sad. I don't want to feel sad / depressed / and keep thinking all these negative thoughts. I am so blessed and have everything I want / need so I don't know why I'm like this.
It's just like a never ending cycle.
BUT
God loves me
Josh loves me
Abby loves me
Jasmine loves me
Josie loves me
and a few others ;)
That's all that should matter.
PLUS If I wasn't so negative and thought more positively I'm sure my attitude would change and I'd be a lot happier.
and it's not that I'm NOT happy - just wish this side of me wasn't 'part of me'.
Then I wouldn't be ME right?! I don't know.
I am extremely happy that I have a wonderful loving family and I love cleaning for people. Most of all I love being more of a full time MOM!
I don't want to go back to what I was doing!! So much of my past is always on my mind and I just want to think about the present and the future and forget all that!
<3 Much love to my readers <3
Plus then I think get over it Amanda - there are some people out there who go through a lot worse than you do and yet here you sit complaining about pitty little things. Hate that about me too.
Sunday, July 7, 2013
4th of July Weekend
I did another no fb weekend while we went up north for the 4th of July. I really need to do a full week / month. =)
Josh had Thursday off so we took all 3 girls to see Despicable Me 2. We really liked the 1st movie and loved the 2nd. We had a lot of fun. Josie slept through part of the movie and then the other part watched it with us on Josh's belly. =) She loves watching TV. The rest of the day we just relaxed at home. It was nice.
Friday Josh got out of work early which was a surprise - it was great. We were really itching to get up north. We normally go to my grandparents cottage on Wolf Lake in Baldwin, MI. Every 4th of July.
We had lunch before we headed up and stopped for Jones Icecream when we got to Baldwin. I added them on facebook and they advertised Red White & Blue Raspberry Icecream. YUM! We went back on Saturday but they were all out so I just got black raspberry. Abby got Mackinaw Island Fudge, Jasmine got watermelon, and Josh got black cherry. The rest of the night we hung out outside and did some fireworks. Thankfully people around the lake have the big fireworks because we just have the little "pew" fireworks. LOL
Everyone up there:
My Mom & Dad
My Grandma & Grandpa
My Sister & Bro-In-Law & Luke
Uncle Davie, Jacob, & Micah
Uncle Mark & Aunt Debbie & Mark Jr. "Markie"
I did go swimming a little on Saturday otherwise the weekend was pretty relaxing. Just sat on the deck and enjoyed looking at the water and talking. Over all a great weekend.
Abby & Jasmine LOVE going in the water and going on pontoon boat rides. Grandpa was feeling a little bit better and spoils them with boat rides. They were very good girlies why we were there. Abby is a little fish. Jasmine also kept counting all her money in her purse. With everyone's help she got up to about $15. More than I've got! ;)
Josie is such a good baby. It doesn't matter where we are - she does the same sleep schedule like she does at home. Sat night she slept 8 hours. Of course since I nurse - I was really full but I didn't want to wake her up.
Luke turned 1. He lifts his hands up now if he wants someone to pick him up so of course when he does that to Aunt Sissy I have to pick him up ;). He was my buddy for a little while. I think he's teething and had some diaper rash so there were times he was not a happy little boy. Hopefully his teeth will come in and his diaper rash will heal quickly. He was also up north for a whole week. He's a busy little crawler. He'll be walking any day now.
We left early today to get home to relax. We had Mcd's for breakfast. Stopped and got some donuts at Hilltop and then we've just been relaxing at home. Josie also let us take a 3 hour nap. That felt nice.
Abby has her reading program again this week and I'll be cleaning 3 days.
Hope you all enjoyed your 4th! I realize I don't have too many blog readers yet but anyway.... =)
Josh had Thursday off so we took all 3 girls to see Despicable Me 2. We really liked the 1st movie and loved the 2nd. We had a lot of fun. Josie slept through part of the movie and then the other part watched it with us on Josh's belly. =) She loves watching TV. The rest of the day we just relaxed at home. It was nice.
Friday Josh got out of work early which was a surprise - it was great. We were really itching to get up north. We normally go to my grandparents cottage on Wolf Lake in Baldwin, MI. Every 4th of July.
We had lunch before we headed up and stopped for Jones Icecream when we got to Baldwin. I added them on facebook and they advertised Red White & Blue Raspberry Icecream. YUM! We went back on Saturday but they were all out so I just got black raspberry. Abby got Mackinaw Island Fudge, Jasmine got watermelon, and Josh got black cherry. The rest of the night we hung out outside and did some fireworks. Thankfully people around the lake have the big fireworks because we just have the little "pew" fireworks. LOL
Everyone up there:
My Mom & Dad
My Grandma & Grandpa
My Sister & Bro-In-Law & Luke
Uncle Davie, Jacob, & Micah
Uncle Mark & Aunt Debbie & Mark Jr. "Markie"
I did go swimming a little on Saturday otherwise the weekend was pretty relaxing. Just sat on the deck and enjoyed looking at the water and talking. Over all a great weekend.
Abby & Jasmine LOVE going in the water and going on pontoon boat rides. Grandpa was feeling a little bit better and spoils them with boat rides. They were very good girlies why we were there. Abby is a little fish. Jasmine also kept counting all her money in her purse. With everyone's help she got up to about $15. More than I've got! ;)
Josie is such a good baby. It doesn't matter where we are - she does the same sleep schedule like she does at home. Sat night she slept 8 hours. Of course since I nurse - I was really full but I didn't want to wake her up.
Luke turned 1. He lifts his hands up now if he wants someone to pick him up so of course when he does that to Aunt Sissy I have to pick him up ;). He was my buddy for a little while. I think he's teething and had some diaper rash so there were times he was not a happy little boy. Hopefully his teeth will come in and his diaper rash will heal quickly. He was also up north for a whole week. He's a busy little crawler. He'll be walking any day now.
We left early today to get home to relax. We had Mcd's for breakfast. Stopped and got some donuts at Hilltop and then we've just been relaxing at home. Josie also let us take a 3 hour nap. That felt nice.
Abby has her reading program again this week and I'll be cleaning 3 days.
Hope you all enjoyed your 4th! I realize I don't have too many blog readers yet but anyway.... =)
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Up North Wolf Lake & Flea Roast Ox Market
This is kind of all over the place but it's what I remembered from this weekend...
This weekend we went "Up North" that is what we call Wolf Lake. It was also the Flea Roast Ox Market in Irons, MI so we went to that as well.
Josh challenged me for the weekend to not use Facebook the entire weekend so since I wasn't able to update all weekend I thought I'd post a blog because there is quite a bit I wanted to share.
We went up Friday night after Josh got out of work. Didn't do much the first night.
Everyone who was there ...
Josh, Me, Abby, Jasmine, Josie
My Sister Amber, my bro-in-law Mark, & nephew Luke
Mom & Dad = Papa Randy & Gramma Rosie
and a great surprise - My Uncle Davie & cousin Jacob
Saturday we got to the Flex Market around Noon. It's kind of like a big yard sale with different things, food vendors, and arcade / carnival type rides, elephant ears, etc. The girls got airbrushed tattoos. Abby got a butterfly with hearts and Jasmine got Hello Kitty. We bought do-rags for the girls, Josh got a sports necklace, we got a handmade bib for Josie, and I got a plastic spoon with a scrubby on the end for dishes LOL. Most of our money was spent on food.
Josh & Mark wanted to try the Hot Dog eating contest. They each had to pay $5 and then try to eat as many hot dogs as they could in 5 minutes. Josh was the WIENER!! He ate 7 1/2 hot dogs. Mark came in 2nd with 7. It was kinda fun watching. I knew Josh would win. He even got a trophy which said The Wiener on it ;) It is now on our fireplace mantle. It was the 1st Hot Dog Contest - so we're hoping we can go back the next years and maybe he can continue to steal the trophy's!
Uncle Davie & Jacob always make it an extra fun time.
At one point Jacob had asked Abby how tall she was and she responded .. "From the ground up to here" LOL
Then Josh went to sit on the couch and accidentally bumped his head on the wall which made a duck fall from a wall hanging. It hurt his head pretty bad but he didn't get any cuts or anything. We actually ended up laughing so much because Davie kept saying such funny things afterwards. Josh had sat down after grabbing a cookie so Davie says = Um hey, you dropped your cookie. SO FUNNY!
The duck actually had a nail under it's beak so he said well you hit your head on the nail that time (instead of hit the nail on the head) LOL I wish I could quote every single thing he said. It was great.
My grandma and grandpa were not up north this weekend (it's their cottage) because they were in St. Ignace for the car show that they go to every year. Unfortunately they had to come home early to take my Grandpa to the hospital because he was pretty sick. He is home now but they said his "bowels were all over the place" and then said it was virus. They gave him some pain meds and sent him home. I really wish there would have been more they could have done for him. Or some more answers. Hopefully he'll feel better fast. I don't like seeing anyone in our family being sick.
While I was sitting up north "Grandpa, tell me bout the good ole days" came on the radio. I love that song. Made me feel happy and sad at the same time. Happy because I love that song and it makes me think of my grandpa but then sad because of thinking of him being sick. Also thinking about the good ole days with him. I often wonder will our kids look back and think there times growing up were the good ole days??? I hope so.
The girls swam a lot with Papa Randy and Daddy and were so tired when they got home. Jasmine slept the longest she has in forever.
We tried a recipe that was going around on facebook. You put spaghetti through hot dogs - then we added Velveeta - it was good. I posted a picture.
Josie did really well sleeping in her hammock up north and the girls slept on mattresses.
Luke was partly a Aunt Sissies boy this weekend - loved it. Although one time I went to walk away in the kitchen and didn't realize he was on the floor behind me and I pushed him and he hit is head on the linoleum. He must have bitten his lip because he was bleeding. I felt awful.
All in all - A great unplugged relaxing weekend. I will be taking the girls up next weekend for Friday Night and then coming home Saturday. I'm looking forward to having the 4th with Josh, going up north, and then being home again with Josh Sat Night and Sunday.
Hope you all had a great weekend. Hopefully you missed me on fb. ;)
This weekend we went "Up North" that is what we call Wolf Lake. It was also the Flea Roast Ox Market in Irons, MI so we went to that as well.
Josh challenged me for the weekend to not use Facebook the entire weekend so since I wasn't able to update all weekend I thought I'd post a blog because there is quite a bit I wanted to share.
We went up Friday night after Josh got out of work. Didn't do much the first night.
Everyone who was there ...
Josh, Me, Abby, Jasmine, Josie
My Sister Amber, my bro-in-law Mark, & nephew Luke
Mom & Dad = Papa Randy & Gramma Rosie
and a great surprise - My Uncle Davie & cousin Jacob
Saturday we got to the Flex Market around Noon. It's kind of like a big yard sale with different things, food vendors, and arcade / carnival type rides, elephant ears, etc. The girls got airbrushed tattoos. Abby got a butterfly with hearts and Jasmine got Hello Kitty. We bought do-rags for the girls, Josh got a sports necklace, we got a handmade bib for Josie, and I got a plastic spoon with a scrubby on the end for dishes LOL. Most of our money was spent on food.
Josh & Mark wanted to try the Hot Dog eating contest. They each had to pay $5 and then try to eat as many hot dogs as they could in 5 minutes. Josh was the WIENER!! He ate 7 1/2 hot dogs. Mark came in 2nd with 7. It was kinda fun watching. I knew Josh would win. He even got a trophy which said The Wiener on it ;) It is now on our fireplace mantle. It was the 1st Hot Dog Contest - so we're hoping we can go back the next years and maybe he can continue to steal the trophy's!
Uncle Davie & Jacob always make it an extra fun time.
At one point Jacob had asked Abby how tall she was and she responded .. "From the ground up to here" LOL
Then Josh went to sit on the couch and accidentally bumped his head on the wall which made a duck fall from a wall hanging. It hurt his head pretty bad but he didn't get any cuts or anything. We actually ended up laughing so much because Davie kept saying such funny things afterwards. Josh had sat down after grabbing a cookie so Davie says = Um hey, you dropped your cookie. SO FUNNY!
The duck actually had a nail under it's beak so he said well you hit your head on the nail that time (instead of hit the nail on the head) LOL I wish I could quote every single thing he said. It was great.
My grandma and grandpa were not up north this weekend (it's their cottage) because they were in St. Ignace for the car show that they go to every year. Unfortunately they had to come home early to take my Grandpa to the hospital because he was pretty sick. He is home now but they said his "bowels were all over the place" and then said it was virus. They gave him some pain meds and sent him home. I really wish there would have been more they could have done for him. Or some more answers. Hopefully he'll feel better fast. I don't like seeing anyone in our family being sick.
While I was sitting up north "Grandpa, tell me bout the good ole days" came on the radio. I love that song. Made me feel happy and sad at the same time. Happy because I love that song and it makes me think of my grandpa but then sad because of thinking of him being sick. Also thinking about the good ole days with him. I often wonder will our kids look back and think there times growing up were the good ole days??? I hope so.
The girls swam a lot with Papa Randy and Daddy and were so tired when they got home. Jasmine slept the longest she has in forever.
We tried a recipe that was going around on facebook. You put spaghetti through hot dogs - then we added Velveeta - it was good. I posted a picture.
Josie did really well sleeping in her hammock up north and the girls slept on mattresses.
Luke was partly a Aunt Sissies boy this weekend - loved it. Although one time I went to walk away in the kitchen and didn't realize he was on the floor behind me and I pushed him and he hit is head on the linoleum. He must have bitten his lip because he was bleeding. I felt awful.
All in all - A great unplugged relaxing weekend. I will be taking the girls up next weekend for Friday Night and then coming home Saturday. I'm looking forward to having the 4th with Josh, going up north, and then being home again with Josh Sat Night and Sunday.
Hope you all had a great weekend. Hopefully you missed me on fb. ;)
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
3 Months & Updates & More from my last post
My blog is now set so that I have to approve who reads it. My last post got 3 anonymous comments so I wanted to change my settings so that it wasn't just public. I wish I was better at explaining my feelings so that people wouldn't misunderstand me. I like getting comments good or bad BUT I don't like that they were anonymous. If you're going to say something - just say who you are.
I also probably shouldn't be typing a blog when I'm more emotional than normal but when I feel like venting or talking about something a blog is a good way for me to feel better (in a way).
Most people know I'm a huge worrier. I worry about everything. I hate it. Some people would say - DON'T WORRY then. Easier said than done!! I also OVERTHINK everything. Absolutely EVERYTHING and I'm trying to change that but I've still got a long way to go. I care too much about what people think about me.
A good friend told me "Try not to stress. Some ppl aren't meant to be in our lives long term. God has bigger better plans"
I need to keep reminding myself this.
On the other hand - everything that my head is saying could be completely opposite of what everyone else is thinking. It's like that saying - "Don't think too much you'll create a problem that wasn't there in the first place"
Everything is probably fine and people probably don't hate me or are probably not mad at me!?????
Anyways really need to work on not thinking negatively.
Josh -- God loves me more than anyone and I need to go to him more. Then I've got a husband who loves me so much. When I started typing this he was staring at the screen so I told him that I didn't want him to watch. He said do you know how sexy you look when you feel embarrassed. Then he moved away and said do you know how much the glow of the computer brings out your beautiful eyes. He loves me and my girlies love me = why do I need anyone elses approval? I had mentioned he was waiting to hear back about a new job. He did hear back but they haven't made a decision yet. We're just trusting that if he's meant to be there in will be all in God's timing.
Abby-- She had one week so far of her reading program. I can't remember if I mentioned that but she gets to go to a free reading program 3 different weeks in the summer to help improve her reading. She had a great time and we've been trying to keep up with all the "homework". Sometimes I totally forget about it and feel like a horrible mom. She is still a wonderful babysitter. She watches Josie while I'm in the shower, changes her diaper, brings her to me when I need to feed her, the list goes on. She'll say - Josie is hungry or she is getting tired etc. It's so cute. I love watching her talk to Josie. The other day we went on trains at Papa Randy's & Gramma Rosie's and she got scared and hopped off the train. I had the guy stop the train so she could get back on (They are just little trains). I wanted her to get back on so she wouldn't regret not going. I'm not sure why she gets so scared about things sometimes. Grammy even got a new cat and she'd stick her legs up on the couch so the cat doesn't "get her" but she's warming up to her (Coala- is her name). Otherwise she's still our sweet Abby. Love her infinity.
Jasmine--Still being Mrs. Stinker. Hehe - no she's really not a stinker all the time but she still has those moments. Sometimes when the girls fight I make them hug and kiss and then she's back to her sweet self again. Lately she has talked a lot about how she has asked Jesus into her heart and that everyone else should ask Jesus into their heart because otherwise they will go to Hell and Hell is a bad place. She said she wants to go to Heaven so that she can see all of her family in Heaven. I told her she needs to make sure she tells people about Jesus so that we can make sure all of our family will go to Heaven. A couple of nights she's had sleepovers and ever since I can remember she does this "whisper talk" its like she talks but its so soft I can't tell what she's saying. She use to sleep with us all the time so I've missed that. Love her infinity.
Josie -- Josie turned 3 months old already today. CRAZY. It seems like she went from newborn to sitting up and somewhat playing with toys in like one day. She smiles ALL the time and loves sucking on her hands / thumb. She has taking a paci a couple of times but no longer than about 2 minutes. She has also taken 2 bottles so far which has been a huge relief. Grammy sits her up more and makes sure the bottle and breastmilk is warm. Both times she has even watched TV. Grammy thinks that she'll take the bottle if she does these things because if she trys to cradle her like I hold her she won't take the bottle and then if the milk isn't as warm she doesn't seem to take it well either. Thankful she's in such good hands while I'm busy.
Josie always goes to bed around 9pm - sleeps until 3pm and then either gets up at 7 or 8am. She sleeps so well. I was thinking about moving her into her crib soon before she "knows" so that she can get use to it...but I love having her in the cosleeper next to our bed. It makes me too sad to think she's growing so fast. Love her infinity.
ME-- I've been cleaning quite a bit lately and am really completely booked. Very thankful for the new homes I've got. I posted that I was looking to hire help - but I'm still trying to work out all the details so I'm not quite sure what I'm doing to do yet. I've had to turn down a couple of jobs because of distance. I don't like saying NO.
I cancelled my ultrasound appointment for my gallbladder- I haven't had any problems since May so I didn't want the extra dr bills. Last Friday our stairs on our front entry deck fell down when I was walking up them. I fell and got 4 bruises. It hurt SO bad and my knees are still bothering me. Crazy how you don't know how much you use something until it's hurt. It's been awkward cleaning sometimes trying to figure out how to not put pressure on my knees. We're going up north this weekend so I'm pretty excited.Thinking about turning my phone off the entire time.
I also probably shouldn't be typing a blog when I'm more emotional than normal but when I feel like venting or talking about something a blog is a good way for me to feel better (in a way).
Most people know I'm a huge worrier. I worry about everything. I hate it. Some people would say - DON'T WORRY then. Easier said than done!! I also OVERTHINK everything. Absolutely EVERYTHING and I'm trying to change that but I've still got a long way to go. I care too much about what people think about me.
A good friend told me "Try not to stress. Some ppl aren't meant to be in our lives long term. God has bigger better plans"
I need to keep reminding myself this.
On the other hand - everything that my head is saying could be completely opposite of what everyone else is thinking. It's like that saying - "Don't think too much you'll create a problem that wasn't there in the first place"
Everything is probably fine and people probably don't hate me or are probably not mad at me!?????
Anyways really need to work on not thinking negatively.
Josh -- God loves me more than anyone and I need to go to him more. Then I've got a husband who loves me so much. When I started typing this he was staring at the screen so I told him that I didn't want him to watch. He said do you know how sexy you look when you feel embarrassed. Then he moved away and said do you know how much the glow of the computer brings out your beautiful eyes. He loves me and my girlies love me = why do I need anyone elses approval? I had mentioned he was waiting to hear back about a new job. He did hear back but they haven't made a decision yet. We're just trusting that if he's meant to be there in will be all in God's timing.
Abby-- She had one week so far of her reading program. I can't remember if I mentioned that but she gets to go to a free reading program 3 different weeks in the summer to help improve her reading. She had a great time and we've been trying to keep up with all the "homework". Sometimes I totally forget about it and feel like a horrible mom. She is still a wonderful babysitter. She watches Josie while I'm in the shower, changes her diaper, brings her to me when I need to feed her, the list goes on. She'll say - Josie is hungry or she is getting tired etc. It's so cute. I love watching her talk to Josie. The other day we went on trains at Papa Randy's & Gramma Rosie's and she got scared and hopped off the train. I had the guy stop the train so she could get back on (They are just little trains). I wanted her to get back on so she wouldn't regret not going. I'm not sure why she gets so scared about things sometimes. Grammy even got a new cat and she'd stick her legs up on the couch so the cat doesn't "get her" but she's warming up to her (Coala- is her name). Otherwise she's still our sweet Abby. Love her infinity.
Jasmine--Still being Mrs. Stinker. Hehe - no she's really not a stinker all the time but she still has those moments. Sometimes when the girls fight I make them hug and kiss and then she's back to her sweet self again. Lately she has talked a lot about how she has asked Jesus into her heart and that everyone else should ask Jesus into their heart because otherwise they will go to Hell and Hell is a bad place. She said she wants to go to Heaven so that she can see all of her family in Heaven. I told her she needs to make sure she tells people about Jesus so that we can make sure all of our family will go to Heaven. A couple of nights she's had sleepovers and ever since I can remember she does this "whisper talk" its like she talks but its so soft I can't tell what she's saying. She use to sleep with us all the time so I've missed that. Love her infinity.
Josie -- Josie turned 3 months old already today. CRAZY. It seems like she went from newborn to sitting up and somewhat playing with toys in like one day. She smiles ALL the time and loves sucking on her hands / thumb. She has taking a paci a couple of times but no longer than about 2 minutes. She has also taken 2 bottles so far which has been a huge relief. Grammy sits her up more and makes sure the bottle and breastmilk is warm. Both times she has even watched TV. Grammy thinks that she'll take the bottle if she does these things because if she trys to cradle her like I hold her she won't take the bottle and then if the milk isn't as warm she doesn't seem to take it well either. Thankful she's in such good hands while I'm busy.
Josie always goes to bed around 9pm - sleeps until 3pm and then either gets up at 7 or 8am. She sleeps so well. I was thinking about moving her into her crib soon before she "knows" so that she can get use to it...but I love having her in the cosleeper next to our bed. It makes me too sad to think she's growing so fast. Love her infinity.
ME-- I've been cleaning quite a bit lately and am really completely booked. Very thankful for the new homes I've got. I posted that I was looking to hire help - but I'm still trying to work out all the details so I'm not quite sure what I'm doing to do yet. I've had to turn down a couple of jobs because of distance. I don't like saying NO.
I cancelled my ultrasound appointment for my gallbladder- I haven't had any problems since May so I didn't want the extra dr bills. Last Friday our stairs on our front entry deck fell down when I was walking up them. I fell and got 4 bruises. It hurt SO bad and my knees are still bothering me. Crazy how you don't know how much you use something until it's hurt. It's been awkward cleaning sometimes trying to figure out how to not put pressure on my knees. We're going up north this weekend so I'm pretty excited.Thinking about turning my phone off the entire time.
Monday, June 10, 2013
2 Months, updates, and vents
Like I've said before in my previous blogs I'd like to post at least once a month. I enjoy blogging even though I don't consider myself a blogger. I'm not a great writer. I also find it difficult to express sometimes what I'm feeling correctly. Anyway this blog is about Josie's 2 month appointment, family updates, and just some randoms vents I felt like sharing.
Josie is 14.9lbs (91%) 25" (100%) Head 17" (100%). She is a healthy little chunky chunk. There were no problems or concerns. I did mention she spits up more than the girls and that she won't take a bottle but those are both "normal". Still love Dr. Ranta. Other Josie news - she is sitting up very well (not by herself yet of course). She sleeps very well at night and usually sleeps between 5-7 hours. Her pattern seems to be that she goes to bed at 9pm and then has a 5-7 hr stretch, then gets up 2-3 hours after that. During the day she still goes 2-3 hours between feedings. She smiles all the time and usually for everyone. We call her smiler. Hoping this will last - I know they have the stranger stage so we'll see. Most of read on facebook that she hasn't taken a bottle very well. She gets so mad. The last time she had a bottle Grammy (Jill) warmed the nipple of the new Tommy Tippee bottles we bought and she took it then but was still mad. I am now busier with cleaning so when I'm gone I'm hoping this will get easier for her. Overall perfect baby. =)
We love her infinity.
Abby: We had the meeting with Abby's teacher and we all agreed that Abby needs to go to 2nd grade. Keeping her in 1st grade would not have been the right solution. Especially since Jasmine will be going to 1st grade. We will be tutoring Abby during the summer and she will be attending a reading program at school so we're hoping with all of this extra help that it will make a huge improvement for her learning. I was able to go to her last day field trip but we were pretty bummed because it was raining. Aside from school related info Abby loves having a baby sister. She is the best helper. She is going to make a great babysitter someday. She wants to hold Josie all the time. I feel bad because a lot of the times I tell her no. (Just because either Josie is sleeping or doesn't want to be held). Josie gives her the biggest smiles. Our sweet big 7 year old we love her infinity.
Jasmine: She graduated from Kindergarten the other day. I think I would have been more emotional if she was our last child. Knowing we still have one more to go through kindergarten helped. She did so great singing all of the songs and getting her graduation certificate. She sang all of those songs all of the time at home. =) She loves singing the songs she learned in spanish. When I said goodbye to her teacher she said that Jasmines writing is really good and she is reading well. I knew this was true already because she writes and reads quite a bit at home. The only way I can think of to put this is = we're still working on making sure she doesn't feel like the middle child. If you know what I mean? She has her attitude and still has a issue listening sometimes - but I think this is also just how Jasmine is. She is Mrs. Detail and things HAVE to be fair. She got her blanket for Dear Mrs. Tracie. She was so happy. Our loving 5 year old we love her infinity.
Josh: He has been kind of frustrated with things at work lately. He would love to find something closer to home. He did actually speak with a guy the other day and had an interview. We're anxious to find out if he'll get the job. It would be closer to home, better pay, and better hours. PRAY for this for us if you think about it. He finished a couple home projects - the bathroom shower and the bathroom floor. Everything works great and looks great. So proud of him. I'm thankful I have a husband who loves me so much when sometimes I can be the worst wife. Love you infinity babe.
Me: I've cleaned twice in Conklin so far. Ill be cleaning in Bailey tomorrow and Kent City on Friday and possibly Monday. Then in GR every other Tues starting the 18th. Every other Friday in Kent City starting the 28th. Also 2 times before the 28th and 3 times a year at the same place in Conklin. Plus i'm meeting someone else in Conklin on Thurs. So cleaning is going well and will keep me busy but its great because ill be able to be home as much as I want. God is great.
Vents: I know some people do not have a smart phone with facebook or email or if they do I know they don,t use it as much as i use mine and I may use mine too much but...
whenever I get a message or comment or like...I respond/ comment/ like immediately.
Sometimes ill send messages and get no response
Sometimes someone will comment to someone else and not me
Sometimes ill be the only person who doesn't get a like...example if I say Happy Bday, the person will like other comments except mine.
Makes me feel like i'm not liked or something.
I probably am just over thinking it. If you read a message why cant you just send a quick response back or a quick like or comment? Seems silly to worry about this but it just bothers me. I have a huge heart and care too much sometimes.
I also wish I wouldn't think about people who probably never think about me.
That's all for now. I have a snuggly baby on my chest.
Thursday, May 30, 2013
ME = Sick?
This may get a little detailed so I'm just warning you ahead of time. Some of this is even quite embarrassing to share. Just feel like explaining though.
I went to the Dr. today to see if I could find out why I've been sick lately. I feel like I've been singing the pepto-bismol commercial. Sing with me "Nausea, Heartburn, Indigestion, Upset stomach, Diarrhea" minus the heartburn really.
Josh and I started our Medical Weight Loss plan again early in May and then that lasted about a week until we made up excuses for not wanting to do it. We do have busy schedules but if we wanted to do it bad enough that wouldn't be a good excuse. I was really hoping we could switch to Weight Watchers if our insurance would have covered it but we found out they don't. So I know I'm sure my stomach problems would be cleared up if I just changed my diet back. I don't eat horrible all the time though.
We went to Boyne City the 18th of May and I was the sickest I've EVER been. I'm not sure if this time was stomach flu or what or if it's just what I'll explain coming up. BUT I had an omelet, hash browns, and toast at a restaurant before we headed to Boyne City and that's all I had eaten the entire day and I ended up vomiting at the indoor water park. I won't be eating hash browns for a long time. I vomited so much I got extremely week. I was in the women's locker room and I didn't feel well enough to get off the shower floor to get back to our room. When I finally had it in me to leave I still felt horrible and continued to get sick at our condo. Not only did I vomit I of course had diarrhea as well. I was pretty embarrassed that I had to be naked in front of my mother in law and Josh's Aunt but I'm thankful they were there to help me because Josh was pretty mad and wasn't much help. He did get me water during the night otherwise I knew he just needed to be off with the group to try and enjoy the weekend. I was super bummed that I was so sick. I really wanted to enjoy the weekend also. On top of being sick Josie would not take a bottle so I had to nurse her in the tub. I kept having to pass her back to Jill because I would get sick. I felt like a horrible Mom. She was so upset.
After that it took a couple days but I was feeling better.
Then Memorial weekend we decided to go to Chicago and made the horrible decision to try White Castle. I will never eat there again. They have these cheeseburger sliders with onion - at first I thought the taste was a little weird but since it was the only thing we were eating that night I ate it. I didn't think it was horrible UNTIL the next morning. I did not vomit but felt very nauseous and again diarrhea. The after taste of White Castle was also disgusting! This sounds horrible but my burps would kill you if you smelled them.
This time I can say being sick was my fault. I shouldn't have eaten horrible food. I was not feeling well the entire time we were at the Shedd Aquarium. Thankfully the girls still had fun.
Today I've been nauseous and have had diarrhea again. I ate roast, carrots, and potatoes last night so I guess the roast could be considered the culprit maybe. IDK? I was fine the entire day yesterday though. I even had a variety of foods at a luncheon that did not seem to bother me?
So I called the Dr because this was the 3rd time. I of course don't want there to be a problem but If it's just that I need to change my diet - I'd feel stupid.
I had some blood work drawn to check some things. The dr will call me to let me know what those results show. Until then he said it may be Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Possibly my gallbladder but not likely. Probably not an ulcer. May need to do an ultrasound on my gallbladder.
Here's some more info on IBS... http://www.webmd.com/ibs/digestive-diseases-irritable-bowel-syndrome
After reading that - it does seem like that could be the problem. I'm hoping once I feel like eating again I can try to get back on my MWL diet and all will be ok.
Thanks to everyone who has commented on my statuses on facebook.
I'm hoping to do another blog with more updates but maybe I'll wait until School is out.
June is going to be a very busy month for me. I start cleaning. I'm pretty nervous.
I just want to clean well and I'm hoping Josie will do well if I leave her while I'm gone.
I went to the Dr. today to see if I could find out why I've been sick lately. I feel like I've been singing the pepto-bismol commercial. Sing with me "Nausea, Heartburn, Indigestion, Upset stomach, Diarrhea" minus the heartburn really.
Josh and I started our Medical Weight Loss plan again early in May and then that lasted about a week until we made up excuses for not wanting to do it. We do have busy schedules but if we wanted to do it bad enough that wouldn't be a good excuse. I was really hoping we could switch to Weight Watchers if our insurance would have covered it but we found out they don't. So I know I'm sure my stomach problems would be cleared up if I just changed my diet back. I don't eat horrible all the time though.
We went to Boyne City the 18th of May and I was the sickest I've EVER been. I'm not sure if this time was stomach flu or what or if it's just what I'll explain coming up. BUT I had an omelet, hash browns, and toast at a restaurant before we headed to Boyne City and that's all I had eaten the entire day and I ended up vomiting at the indoor water park. I won't be eating hash browns for a long time. I vomited so much I got extremely week. I was in the women's locker room and I didn't feel well enough to get off the shower floor to get back to our room. When I finally had it in me to leave I still felt horrible and continued to get sick at our condo. Not only did I vomit I of course had diarrhea as well. I was pretty embarrassed that I had to be naked in front of my mother in law and Josh's Aunt but I'm thankful they were there to help me because Josh was pretty mad and wasn't much help. He did get me water during the night otherwise I knew he just needed to be off with the group to try and enjoy the weekend. I was super bummed that I was so sick. I really wanted to enjoy the weekend also. On top of being sick Josie would not take a bottle so I had to nurse her in the tub. I kept having to pass her back to Jill because I would get sick. I felt like a horrible Mom. She was so upset.
After that it took a couple days but I was feeling better.
Then Memorial weekend we decided to go to Chicago and made the horrible decision to try White Castle. I will never eat there again. They have these cheeseburger sliders with onion - at first I thought the taste was a little weird but since it was the only thing we were eating that night I ate it. I didn't think it was horrible UNTIL the next morning. I did not vomit but felt very nauseous and again diarrhea. The after taste of White Castle was also disgusting! This sounds horrible but my burps would kill you if you smelled them.
This time I can say being sick was my fault. I shouldn't have eaten horrible food. I was not feeling well the entire time we were at the Shedd Aquarium. Thankfully the girls still had fun.
Today I've been nauseous and have had diarrhea again. I ate roast, carrots, and potatoes last night so I guess the roast could be considered the culprit maybe. IDK? I was fine the entire day yesterday though. I even had a variety of foods at a luncheon that did not seem to bother me?
So I called the Dr because this was the 3rd time. I of course don't want there to be a problem but If it's just that I need to change my diet - I'd feel stupid.
I had some blood work drawn to check some things. The dr will call me to let me know what those results show. Until then he said it may be Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Possibly my gallbladder but not likely. Probably not an ulcer. May need to do an ultrasound on my gallbladder.
Here's some more info on IBS... http://www.webmd.com/ibs/digestive-diseases-irritable-bowel-syndrome
After reading that - it does seem like that could be the problem. I'm hoping once I feel like eating again I can try to get back on my MWL diet and all will be ok.
Thanks to everyone who has commented on my statuses on facebook.
I'm hoping to do another blog with more updates but maybe I'll wait until School is out.
June is going to be a very busy month for me. I start cleaning. I'm pretty nervous.
I just want to clean well and I'm hoping Josie will do well if I leave her while I'm gone.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
7 Weeks
I had my "6 week" check up today but it's been 7 weeks since I had Josie. Time goes so fast and babies grow soooooo / too fast!!
Everything went well at my appointment - all was normal and I'm down another 4 lbs since my Monday weigh in at Medical Weight Loss (more on MWL later). They did ask how my "little bit of depression" was going and I said I feel much better. I still have days where things seem to "come to a head" but I think that's just normal Amanda stuff not really related to post p. depression. Those first couple of weeks though were crazy. Crazy how hormones can do that to you.
I feel like I have quite a bit I'd like to update and not sure how to properly put it all into words to explain it all well enough.
ME: After I finally found out that I would not be returning to work (YAY!!!!) I decided I'd like to start cleaning homes again and continue to sub. I was hoping that I'd find enough homes to clean so that I wouldn't have to find some place to work. I'd much rather prefer to be my own boss and create my own schedule. I've been mostly advertising on Facebook and if all works out I'll have about 9 people to clean for and hopefully 3 "regulars". If I do have the 3 regulars every week then I'd be pretty booked. It makes me so happy that I've had such a great response so far. I had always thought about possibly cleaning again and just didn't know if I should or not, so with all the response it feels "meant to be". I love saying Home Cleaning by Amanda. I enjoy knowing people can come home and smile once they see a clean home and know they didn't have to do any of the work. <3 I'm hoping they'll like my work ;)
If you haven't LIKED my page on Facebook PLEASE do!! ALSO... SHARE to help me spread the word. Thank you!!
www.facebook.com/HomeCleaningbyAmanda
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I love subbing so I'm anxious to that again as well. I could have subbed today but I had my apt. Then I'll be subbing at Comstock Park on the 22nd.
ME & JOSH: Josh and I (before I got pregnant) started Medical Weight Loss. We both followed the diets strictly, did very well, and of course lost weight. Then once I found out I was pregnant we both stopped the diet and put our weight back on (of course I didn't eat well but I also gained from being pregnant). We decided last week to return because we still had weeks left. We had to pre-pay for this up front so it was all paid for at the beginning. Well we have both come to the decision that we're just going to stop doing MWL and do Weight Watchers. We need to contact our insurance but we're pretty sure they cover WW. I have done WW in the past and I liked it so much better. I had lost 68lbs before. I hate to think that we wasted the money we spent for MWL but even though this sounds silly - it just doesn't make us happy. It's hard when you have to take so much out of your diet that you enjoy eating. Of course our weights are not good but WW is a lot more livable MWL is like a short term fix that just doesn't last. If you were the type of person to eat that way to begin with it'd be fine. The thing with WW too is that you can have a piece of pizza if you want you just have to count it towards your daily points and just make sure you don't go over your points. With MWL you can't eat pizza. I think most people would agree that once you tell yourself that you can't have something you want it even more. Will I ever be skinny? No! Do I want to be skinny? No!
Do I want to be healthy? YES Do I want to have pizza every now an then? YES Who doesn't? I hope this will be the right decision. The biggest thing is - I just need to make healthier choices and watch portion sizes etc but not feel so restricted.
We'll be going to Boyne City this weekend it will feel nice to feel like we're having a mini-vacation. Josh does not have any more vacation days to use after taking a week off for Josie so I'm glad he was able to get this Saturday off. Then his work is closed on the Saturday of Memorial Weekend so we'll probably do day trips or something to make the best of it.
ABBY: We have to meet with Abby's teacher next week. I'm a little nervous. We have spoke in the past of the "struggles" she's been having in Math and occasionally reading. So this time we're discussing her progress. I don't know if her teacher is going to recommend that she stay in 1st grade or not? We really do not want Abby & Jasmine to be in the same grade. Abby has been going to Aunt Sue's for tutoring and then during the summer we're going to have her tutor with Aunt Sue and my Aunt Tracy (who's a teacher). I'm hoping that she'll progress during the summer and all will be OK. I want to do what's best for her. It's just hard because most of the time she does all the work well at home and I know she knows it she just for some reason struggles at school. I think she sometimes day dreams or gets easily distracted / etc. Sometimes things just don't "click" - which HELLO math for me doesn't CLICK in my brain either. If you can pray about this that would be great. I know she is the smartest sweetest girlie - just not sure what to do. LOVE YOU INFINITY Abs.
JASMINE: For Jasmine everything just "clicks". She reads well, she knows Math. She's so smart and such a stinker. Totally opposite from Abby. Lately she has been crying very easily and sometimes will sleep in our bed. I think it's kind of like the middle child syndrome or something. I feel horrible. I'm trying to make sure the she gets enough attention. I know she probably feels like well Mom is always with Josie feeding her..then Abby has tutoring and guitar lessons etc. Jasmine does have t-ball but then she feels like she doesn't get to see anyone because she's playing tball and gets upset after the games because she didn't get to talk or play. We watch her of course and tell her everyone comes to watch her so she feels special but she just takes it as she didn't get to see anyone.
Josie got a blanket with her name on it and Abby got one when she was born so Jasmine said Mom I never got a blanket with my name on it. Her flower on her new flip flops broke off so she cried thankfully Papa Randy fixed them. Today she told Grammy that she couldn't find her suit. Well Grammy said she'd buy a new one if she can't find it (because of Boyne City this weekend). Well she found it and then came and showed me. Then she went in the other room, came back out and said Mom, I put my suit somewhere and now I can't find it so I'll have to get a new one. (if you saw the look on her face you'd know she hid it). Well then when I told her that we'd find it because she just showed it to me - she cried and said Mom you just don't believe me! I didn't hide it. Anyone have middle child advice? =) LOVE YOU INFINITY Jas.
JOSIE: Josie's 2 month appointment is like the 29th so I'm anxious to see what she weighs. She's becoming quite the little chunk. She eats well. Only thing I'm not use to is her spitting up. I don't know if it's because I'm nursing too long, if it doesn't digest properly, if we just move her too soon, if it's something I ate. I read an article today that said it's pretty normal. Abby and Jasmine never spit up. I'm thinking it's more that she just eats too much and over fills herself - sometimes when I nurse I loose track of time and she nurses longer than I was going to nurse her for. I've been experimenting with shorter nursing times too but that hasn't seemed to work. She sleeps very well. Usually by 9pm she's asleep and then sleeps for 3-5 hours. Then after I feed her again she sleeps another 2-3 hours so she usually only gets up 2 times a night. She's been smiling alot lately and Papa Randy calls her Smiler. Papa Jerry calls her scooter. I've been calling her babycakes. She actually giggled once this week too.
Well she just woke up and is crying quite hard so I've gotta go. I think that pretty much covered everything. I'll update more later if I forgot something.
Thanks for reading!
MUCH LOVE!!
Everything went well at my appointment - all was normal and I'm down another 4 lbs since my Monday weigh in at Medical Weight Loss (more on MWL later). They did ask how my "little bit of depression" was going and I said I feel much better. I still have days where things seem to "come to a head" but I think that's just normal Amanda stuff not really related to post p. depression. Those first couple of weeks though were crazy. Crazy how hormones can do that to you.
I feel like I have quite a bit I'd like to update and not sure how to properly put it all into words to explain it all well enough.
ME: After I finally found out that I would not be returning to work (YAY!!!!) I decided I'd like to start cleaning homes again and continue to sub. I was hoping that I'd find enough homes to clean so that I wouldn't have to find some place to work. I'd much rather prefer to be my own boss and create my own schedule. I've been mostly advertising on Facebook and if all works out I'll have about 9 people to clean for and hopefully 3 "regulars". If I do have the 3 regulars every week then I'd be pretty booked. It makes me so happy that I've had such a great response so far. I had always thought about possibly cleaning again and just didn't know if I should or not, so with all the response it feels "meant to be". I love saying Home Cleaning by Amanda. I enjoy knowing people can come home and smile once they see a clean home and know they didn't have to do any of the work. <3 I'm hoping they'll like my work ;)
If you haven't LIKED my page on Facebook PLEASE do!! ALSO... SHARE to help me spread the word. Thank you!!
www.facebook.com/HomeCleaningbyAmanda
ME & JOSH: Josh and I (before I got pregnant) started Medical Weight Loss. We both followed the diets strictly, did very well, and of course lost weight. Then once I found out I was pregnant we both stopped the diet and put our weight back on (of course I didn't eat well but I also gained from being pregnant). We decided last week to return because we still had weeks left. We had to pre-pay for this up front so it was all paid for at the beginning. Well we have both come to the decision that we're just going to stop doing MWL and do Weight Watchers. We need to contact our insurance but we're pretty sure they cover WW. I have done WW in the past and I liked it so much better. I had lost 68lbs before. I hate to think that we wasted the money we spent for MWL but even though this sounds silly - it just doesn't make us happy. It's hard when you have to take so much out of your diet that you enjoy eating. Of course our weights are not good but WW is a lot more livable MWL is like a short term fix that just doesn't last. If you were the type of person to eat that way to begin with it'd be fine. The thing with WW too is that you can have a piece of pizza if you want you just have to count it towards your daily points and just make sure you don't go over your points. With MWL you can't eat pizza. I think most people would agree that once you tell yourself that you can't have something you want it even more. Will I ever be skinny? No! Do I want to be skinny? No!
Do I want to be healthy? YES Do I want to have pizza every now an then? YES Who doesn't? I hope this will be the right decision. The biggest thing is - I just need to make healthier choices and watch portion sizes etc but not feel so restricted.
We'll be going to Boyne City this weekend it will feel nice to feel like we're having a mini-vacation. Josh does not have any more vacation days to use after taking a week off for Josie so I'm glad he was able to get this Saturday off. Then his work is closed on the Saturday of Memorial Weekend so we'll probably do day trips or something to make the best of it.
ABBY: We have to meet with Abby's teacher next week. I'm a little nervous. We have spoke in the past of the "struggles" she's been having in Math and occasionally reading. So this time we're discussing her progress. I don't know if her teacher is going to recommend that she stay in 1st grade or not? We really do not want Abby & Jasmine to be in the same grade. Abby has been going to Aunt Sue's for tutoring and then during the summer we're going to have her tutor with Aunt Sue and my Aunt Tracy (who's a teacher). I'm hoping that she'll progress during the summer and all will be OK. I want to do what's best for her. It's just hard because most of the time she does all the work well at home and I know she knows it she just for some reason struggles at school. I think she sometimes day dreams or gets easily distracted / etc. Sometimes things just don't "click" - which HELLO math for me doesn't CLICK in my brain either. If you can pray about this that would be great. I know she is the smartest sweetest girlie - just not sure what to do. LOVE YOU INFINITY Abs.
JASMINE: For Jasmine everything just "clicks". She reads well, she knows Math. She's so smart and such a stinker. Totally opposite from Abby. Lately she has been crying very easily and sometimes will sleep in our bed. I think it's kind of like the middle child syndrome or something. I feel horrible. I'm trying to make sure the she gets enough attention. I know she probably feels like well Mom is always with Josie feeding her..then Abby has tutoring and guitar lessons etc. Jasmine does have t-ball but then she feels like she doesn't get to see anyone because she's playing tball and gets upset after the games because she didn't get to talk or play. We watch her of course and tell her everyone comes to watch her so she feels special but she just takes it as she didn't get to see anyone.
Josie got a blanket with her name on it and Abby got one when she was born so Jasmine said Mom I never got a blanket with my name on it. Her flower on her new flip flops broke off so she cried thankfully Papa Randy fixed them. Today she told Grammy that she couldn't find her suit. Well Grammy said she'd buy a new one if she can't find it (because of Boyne City this weekend). Well she found it and then came and showed me. Then she went in the other room, came back out and said Mom, I put my suit somewhere and now I can't find it so I'll have to get a new one. (if you saw the look on her face you'd know she hid it). Well then when I told her that we'd find it because she just showed it to me - she cried and said Mom you just don't believe me! I didn't hide it. Anyone have middle child advice? =) LOVE YOU INFINITY Jas.
JOSIE: Josie's 2 month appointment is like the 29th so I'm anxious to see what she weighs. She's becoming quite the little chunk. She eats well. Only thing I'm not use to is her spitting up. I don't know if it's because I'm nursing too long, if it doesn't digest properly, if we just move her too soon, if it's something I ate. I read an article today that said it's pretty normal. Abby and Jasmine never spit up. I'm thinking it's more that she just eats too much and over fills herself - sometimes when I nurse I loose track of time and she nurses longer than I was going to nurse her for. I've been experimenting with shorter nursing times too but that hasn't seemed to work. She sleeps very well. Usually by 9pm she's asleep and then sleeps for 3-5 hours. Then after I feed her again she sleeps another 2-3 hours so she usually only gets up 2 times a night. She's been smiling alot lately and Papa Randy calls her Smiler. Papa Jerry calls her scooter. I've been calling her babycakes. She actually giggled once this week too.
Well she just woke up and is crying quite hard so I've gotta go. I think that pretty much covered everything. I'll update more later if I forgot something.
Thanks for reading!
MUCH LOVE!!
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