Don't know what to do???

I don't know why but I feel like I can never make a decision on my own. I always need someone to help me decide or "tell me what to do", or give their opinion. Drives me nuts and I'm sure it drives my family nuts as well. - You should see me in a store or trying to pick out clothes... CRAZY!!!

Decisions, decisions, decisions... HARD

I want to do what God wants me to do but sometimes do you ever feel like you don't quite know if you're doing what he wants you to do or if you're making the right decisions?

I feel like I need to start from the beginning to try and explain what I'm trying to make a decision about...

I started working at Blakeslee & Son in August of 2002 as an Executive Assistant and worked there until July of 2011 where I ended as a Service Coordinator. (9 years)

Since I had been there quite a few years I felt like I wanted to start looking for a new job to see if there was anything out there. Well I applied for a Service Coordinator position at Ahern Fire Protection because the job description sounded exactly like what I was doing at Blakeslee's. After I turned in an application I had a phone interview the next day, an in person interview shortly after that,  then a 2nd interview not too much longer after that, and then got hired very quickly. I thought WOW! Thank God! How perfect! I wanted something new and they wanted me. It was closer to home and I was going to make a little more money.

Well after working there for 35 days (which was the worst 35 days of my life) I was let go. The employees were mean and rude. The job wasn't anything like I expected. Everyone swore and said the F word a TON! If you know me you know I hate swearing. It was just awful. I cried most mornings driving into work because I did not want to be there. At first after I was let go, I was very scared because I wasn't sure what was going to happen and I worried about finances, loosing our house, etc.

I then decided to mention on Facebook that I'd be interested in cleaning and it took a little while but then it really just took right off. I loved it. It was a great way I could make some money while job searching. I had no idea that it was going to become what is has become today.

I kind of feel like moving me to Ahern was God's way of giving me the opportunity to live in a different environment to help me grow and learn and then give me what he knows I was praying for. (A flexible work schedule because I could schedule cleaning when I was available- which allowed me to have more time with my girlies)

Since Sept of 2011 I have cleaned homes, I've been a Kitchen & Aide Sub at Kent City Schools, and
then just recently I was asked to come back to Blakeslee & Son - so I accepted part time.

Part time because that way I could return, make extra money, but still clean (plus sub when needed). The girls are both in school so I can still take them and pick them up - so I'm not missing anything on their end.

My schedule is quite full and recently I've gotten more requests to clean and I hate saying no but this is where my whole problem with my decisions lie...(I have to reply back to 2 people as I'm typing this blog)

Do I just say no because you can't take them all when your schedule doesn't allow?
Do I try to fit them in somewhere?
Do I have a friend clean under me?
I've already had to say no to some & give up a couple cleanings - and don't know if I should take on new?

Plus you add on the fact that I'm pregnant which means I'll eventually be on maternity leave anyways and wouldn't be able to clean.

I don't want to give up cleaning totally because I'd like it to always be my "back up" if needed.
Cleaning was a great way for me to make some money while job searching but some weeks it hasn't been consistent enough to make me feel like I could ONLY clean.

There are some clients I no longer clean for due to their own financial reasons, etc. Or there were some weeks when there were schedule conflicts, etc.

I do prefer having a more consistent type job - it's easier to feel comfortable when you know you're getting the same pay check every other week instead of "if I clean then I'll get paid".

Looking for opinions I guess from my wonderful blog followers! <3

14 Weeks

Oh so random ...

I made it to the 2nd trimester! Whoo hoo! I don't know what it is about this 3rd pregnancy but I feel more worried than I felt with the girlies. 

I'm really anxious to feel gummy bear move so I won't feel so worried. 

All is going well for the most part. I still can't really eat the way I'd like to...and then there is still the lovely constipation with added side effects that is too much info for even a blog. Of course my eating probably hasn't helped. 

Did you see my facebook status today about my phone? (One of my friends said pregnancy brain...must be!!)  -- because you know I've never done that before ;) 

14 Weeks 

Today I am 14 weeks pregnant. 182 days to go or 6 months 1 day until March 25th. 
Our little gummy bear is now approximately the size of a tangerine/ peach. 

Total weight loss/ gain? I know I'm up just not sure how much - next apt Oct 1st 

Maternity clothes? No but I have some pants that are feeling tighter. I can feel part of my belly feels different but it's not noticeable to anyone but me =(  

Sleep? I normally sleep better if I'm taking a nap ;) 

Best moment this week? Nothing really sticks out in my mind - but every moment I'm pregnant is the best. 

Movement? None yet - really looking forward to this stage!!!!! 

Food cravings? I've wanted Lasagna - vanilla tootsie rolls 

Food aversions? still chicken & veggies - need to get back on my healthy eating 

Gender? Baby will be known as gummy bear until he/she is born BUT we figured out how were going to share the news at the hospital...

Once the baby is born Josh will go get the girlies - they will meet the baby and then they will go tell the family if they have a brother or a sister. Hopefully Josh will remember to record on his phone to see how the girls share the news and the looks on our families faces. <3 

What I am looking forward to? My next appointment to hopefully hear the heartbeat again and any movement! 

Labor signs? Thankfully none. 

Belly button in or out? Will be in for the whole pregnancy

Milestones? 2nd trimester -- From my prego app - Your baby can now squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his or her thumb! Thanks to brain impulses your baby's facial muscles are getting a workout as tiny features form one expression after another. The kidneys are producing urine, which you baby releases into the amniotic fluid around him or her (this continues until birth). Your baby can grasp, too, and if you're having an ultrasound now, your may even catch your little one sucking a thumb. He or she measures 3 1/2 inches about the size of a lemon and weights 1 1/2 ounces. ETC. 

13 Weeks

I decided I wanted to rename my blog - so I chose Worthy of Love. That is what Amanda means. What do you think?

I'm also still working on the design of it. 

Josh has also started a blog and he is definetly a better writer than myself. I'm hoping to include more in each post instead of just doing this survey below and thats it. If you do follow me though say something or comment or like my link on facebook. I love to know who's reading.

13 Weeks

Today I am 13 weeks pregnant. 189 days to go or 6 months 8 days until March 25th.
Our little gummy bear is now approximately the size of a shrimp.

How far along? 13 Weeks
Total weight loss/ gain? Our home scale is not working - which I'm thinking is a good thing. I'm sure I'm up again but I'll find out at my next appointment which is Oct 1st.
Maternity clothes? I can still wear my normal clothes
Sleep? I normally sleep better if I'm taking a nap ;)
Best moment this week? Having more energy to clean up the house a little - especially the play room
Movement? None yet - really looking forward to this stage
Food cravings? still tacos or raspberry slushies from sonic
Food aversions? still chicken & veggies - need to get back on my healthy eating
Gender? Baby will be known as gummy bear until he/she is born
Labor signs? Thankfully none.
Belly button in or out? Will be in for the whole pregnancy
What I am looking forward to? My next appointment to hopefully hear the heartbeat again and any movement!
Milestones? Fingerprints have formed on your baby's tiny fingertips. Veins and organs are clearly visible through his or her still-thin skin. Your baby's body is starting to catch up with that oversized head, which makes up just third of his or her body size now. Your baby is almost 3 inches long (the size of a medium shrimp) and weighs nearly an ounce.

12 Weeks

12 Weeks

Today I am 12 weeks and 1 day
pregnant. 195 days to go or 6 months 14 days until March 25th.

Our
little gummy bear is now approximately the size of a lime/peach ;)

How far along? 12 Weeks
Total weight loss/gain? In one month I only gained 2lbs.
Maternity clothes? I can still wear my normal clothes
Sleep? I sleep ok - I do have to go pee alot plus everytime I have dreams it feels like I'm up all night.
Best moment this week? Hearing the heartbeat on Friday the 7th. Amazing.
Movement? Sometimes I feel things but I don't think it would be the baby yet.
Food cravings? Raspberry slushies from Sonic or Tacos taste good
Food aversions? Still chicken...plus veggies or meat except if its like
ground beef.
Gender? Baby will be
known as Gummy Bear until the baby is born and we see which one we're blessed
with. Still not changing my mind. Really just want to have the chance to be surprised for once.
Labor Signs? None
Belly Button in or out? Will be in for the whole pregnancy.
What I miss? I don't like this question. I might just remove it.
What I am looking forward to? Feeling movement. My next appointment is Oct 1st.
Milestones? My pregnancy
app says - The most dramatic development this week is reflexes. Your baby's fingers will soon begin to open and close. His or her mouth will make sucking movements. Toes will curl, and eye muscles will clench. Meanwhile, nerve cells are multiplying rapidly, and in your baby's brain, synapses are forming furiously. In fact, if your prod your abdomen, your baby will squirm in response, although you won't be able to feel it. Your baby's face looks unquestionably human. From crown to rump, your baby-to-be is just over 2 inches long and weighs half an ounce.

Love being pregnant!

Pregnancy is Amazing

I had my "12 Week" appointment today. (I'm actually 11 weeks 4 days)

Everytime I read about pregnancy or think about this baby (& my girlies) - I can not stop thinking about HOW AWESOME OUR GOD IS , how amazing pregnancy is, how beautiful the how process works, how it all happens, how everything progresses, how much the baby grows, what happens when it grows, etc. It's just amazing. Can be explained no other way than it's a precious miracle from God, made by God.

"how does anyone believe we are 'by chance'?"Our bodies are so perfectly put together & the way it all works together is amazing. and that is "by chance"? I don't think so... ~Stacie Berenbrock

This appointment was my 1st major baby appointment which was to do a pap smear, a full exam, & check the heartbeat. Plus discuss this stage and go over any questions we may have.

I really love my Dr. He is great! I normally go to the MMPC on East Beltline but he is going to be at the MMPC on Lake MI Drive from now on so I'm going to try to get him for every appointment (even though I can't guarantee that he'd be there for the birth). I love how he just sits down and acts like he would take the whole day during our appointment just to make sure all of our questions are answered and to make sure we know all of our options and what's going on at this stage etc.

I only gained 2lbs since my last appointment so that makes me very happy. (I was worried being off my medical weight loss diet).

Josh and I had questions about c-section vs. vaginal birth after c-section and before we even asked he brought it up. That made me happy. He explained all the options we have and we can decide which way to go after 20 weeks. I had a vaginal birth with Abby and a c-section with Jasmine because she had a pro-lapsed cord. Since I had a successful vaginal birth with Abby I'm a "good canidate" for vaginal birth after c-section - just one of the risks they mention is that my uterus could rupture if I try to have a vaginal birth after c-section. Josh and I are pretty sure which route we're going to take but we'll dicuss it and make the final decision later. I mainly just do not want to be induced.

After that he checked for the baby's heartbeat and couldn't find it. He said if the baby's back was towards my back you wouldn't be able to hear the heartbeat.

(SORRY IF TOO MUCH INFO) ... Then he did the fun pap smear and checks etc and said all looks good up there LOL. Also side note - they also do breast exams and mine have definetly gotten bigger and have been tender. My pregnancy app said this today --

For Dad: Making Love - Your partner may be unusally touchy - but not touchy-feely. You may find her irritable or easily upset. Coming on to her now is like playing with dynamite; so proceed with caution and sensitivity. Take nothing for granted. She used to love having her hair stroked? She may hate it now. She used to relish an early morning quickie? Early morning queasy is what she's doing these days. So before you make an attempt at romance, make an attempt at conversation. Open lines of communication that are more frank than ever. Any other time in your life the question "Are your breasts tender?" might be flirtatious opening line, but today it's a request for important information.

I told Josh he'll have to ask me that question. ;)

...

After that he tried for the heartbeat again and found it. It was 152. =) That is the most wonderful sound in the world. LOVE LOVE LOVE it. I would have loved to asked if we could have recorded it. =)

So all in all my appointment went great. Sometimes I still feel like I should be pinched or wake up from a dream. God is Great All the Time. Love that he has given us this precious gummy bear. ;)

My next appointment is Oct 1st. I'm praying all will continue to go well.

If you're a follower of my blog - please comment or like my facebook link to my blog.
It's nice to know who reads!

11 Weeks

11 Weeks

Today I am 11 Weeks pregnant. 203 days to go or 6 months 22 days until March 25th.

Our little gummy bear is now approximately the size of a plum ;)

How far along? 11 Weeks

Total weight loss/gain: My next appointment is Friday September 7th. Anxious to see how much I've gained. Hoping nothing - but I'm sure I'm up.

Maternity clothes? I have some cotton shorts I wear that I wore with the girls - but they fall off of me LOL so ....No - I usually can only wear maternity clothes at the very end of my pregnancy - one unfortunate thing when you're already big - you don't really look pregnant until the very end and can pretty much wear regular size (plus size) clothing. =(

Sleep: Depending on how I feel - I usually sleep better during a nap for some reason.

Best moment this week: Just thinking about the fact that we're having #3 makes every moment special.

 

Movement: Too early.

Food cravings: Doesn't really feel like cravings but i've felt like tacos recently  

Food aversions: Still chicken...plus veggies or meat except if its like ground beef  

Gender: Baby will be known as Gummy Bear until the baby is born and we see which one we're blessed with.

Labor Signs: None

Belly Button in or out? In - Will be in for the whole pregnancy.

What I miss: Eating healthy every day - hoping to get back to my "diet foods" in my 2nd trimester

What I am looking forward to:  More energy

Milestones: My pregnancy app says - Your baby is now almost fully formed!! =)

 

Can't wait until my appointment on the 7th!!