House Situation - "Lord, I need You"

I haven't updated after Josie's 4 month appointment. Most people keep up with my facebook so I normally post most updates there. Her appointment went well. She had 4 shots and weighed 16lbs. I didn't get her height because the computers were not working. She can almost sit all by herself already and is rolling all over the place. She still continues to smile TONS! She is for sure more aware of her surroundings and who she is with. We tried the nursery on Sunday at Church and she didn't make it long before she realized she wasn't with Momma! Hoping that won't happen every time.

Abby and Jasmine had their first day of school today. Abby is in 2nd grade and has Mrs. Snyder and Jasmine is in 1st grade and has Mrs. Shick (Abby has Mrs. Shick for 1st grade too).  So happy they have those teachers. Love them! They both had a great day. Abby came home with a headache though so hoping that doesn't happen often. Jasmine said there were boys in her class that were naughty but she was not naughty. Abby said she read a book today - she said it was Level D. Not really sure what the different levels mean. So thankful Kent City is such a wonderful school. I'm also so happy that I get to bring the girls to school and pick them up everyday. I missed that so much when I worked full time. SOOOOOOO glad I do not work full time. Financially of course we'd be different BUT my girlies mean the world to me and I'd rather have them than money.

Speaking of Money - Just spilling it all out their. What good is a blog if you can't just say what's on your mind?

We are horrible with money. I'm not good with Math / numbers / whatever. We always spend too much on eating out but then we also don't buy groceries.

We of course don't have as much income as we use to have so that has been the main reason why we haven't been paying bills well. We still haven't paid our mortgage since June.

Today I was pretty emotional because every time I talk to our mortgage company they are so rude and make you feel like crap. Of course all of this is my fault BUT it's just frustrating to me.

Some of you I'm sure have read my previous blogs. I guess if you don't understand something...ask...because I always feel like I need to start from the beginning and I just don't want to do that every time ;)

Our mortgage company is currently in the process of seeing if we qualify for a loan modification that would lower our monthly payment. They have to see if we qualify for that before the could consider doing a short sale. When I called them today the lady we deal with said that they have approved us for a loan modification but she doesn't know the details of it yet.

I told her that we are not going to be approving the loan modification because we just want to sell the house. They will not let us sell the house on a short sale because we were approved for a loan modification. GRRR So we'd either have to send a hardship letter stating why we feel we could not afford the new payment or go into foreclosure. I have a feeling if we submitted a hardship letter they wouldn't approve it anyway. It's frustrating because a family of 5 with basically just Josh's income - then you take out cars, insurance, gas , electric, gas for vehicles, food - doesn't leave us much for a mortgage payment so I don't see how they would approve us for a modification.

Anyway some of your may be thinking - if they approved you for a lower payment so you can keep your house but make a different payment then why don't you want to stay at your house.

Some days I think - WHAT IF we stayed here?!?! But I know we would not be saving as much money as we would be if we moved. Plus we really want to move because our new home will probably be our forever home (not a temp fix) plus we have land and a pool is a added plus. Plus us moving helps us and helps Josh's parents.

Although foreclosure is a bad word and bad for our credit - we're probably just going to have to go that route. There is also no way we'd get approved for a loan to cover the difference of what we'd get on the house vs. what we owe.

I of course don't like jumping up and down yelling WHOO HOO foreclosure. I just don't see any other way it's going to work. Plus I think even if we did stay here - we wouldn't be any better off.

Am I making sense? I don't know. Just so confusing / hard / frustrating
So many questions.

HE knows!!   Please pray that everything will smooth out / that we'll be on the same page as our mortgage company / the whole moving process will go ok.

I feel like I'm missing a bunch or forgetting something or not explaining well enough.
I've talked to some people on the phone too so that helped. <3


"Lord, I Need You"

Lord, I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You're the One that guides my heart

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

Where sin runs deep Your grace is more
Where grace is found is where You are
And where You are, Lord, I am free
Holiness is Christ in me

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

Teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus, You're my hope and stay

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

You're my one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You